What is your plan b?
If you watched the video in the previous post (and if you haven't, you really should), you'll remember that the topic was, "What happens when your dreams shatter?" What happens when you have shattered hearts, dreams or expectations? What do you do with that? What do you do next? Do you have a plan b?
The other night I was laying here talking on the phone with Allison and we were laughing about something and she mentioned how funny it was that I was able to lay there and laugh with her on the phone when I didn't even have a kitchen sink anymore. She said, "Your next blog title should be, 'Just call me Abe' because that's exactly what God did to Abraham--told him to pack his stuff and hit the road without telling him what was in store for him. Talk about living on faith!"
She was right. According to the world's standards, I should be in a state of panic right now! All of the innards of what makes a house are pretty much gone. I'm done with my job and won't start my new one for two more weeks. I don't have enough money to get a place to live--and I can't find the right place to live anyways. But I have a U-Haul reserved for next Friday because God has told me to go and I have faith that it will all work itself out by then. If there's one lesson in life that I've definitely learned by now it's that one--he WILL provide somewhere, somehow by the time I need it. He's seldom early, but he's never late.
During the many conversations that we have had I have also brought up the story of David and Bathsheba--how even after their horrible decisions and sin they didn't have to pay the price forever. They made their desires known to God, they mourned, they cried and when God gave the final decision it just was what it was. And they went on to live happy lives. God restored.
That's a bit how I feel now--that my part in this is finished. For a year-and-a-half I have prayed, cried, made hundreds of phone calls, sent money over and over, had things notarized, had sleepless nights, requested prayer from others, worried and fretted and begged God to answer my prayers--and he did, he said no. Believe me, I know in every fiber of my being that if God wanted this to have worked out it would have. The fact that I kicked, screamed and struggled for a year-and-a-half just goes to show (at least to me) that I should have shut up and let him do his thing a long time ago! I have made my requests known and done what I could do and just like David who had to be told by his servants that his baby had died, I have to pick myself up, clean myself off and move forward. My part in this is done. Now I have to trust that God will provide. What's plan b?
Tonight on the phone with Amelia, I was comforting her about moving. I can tell she's getting more and more stressed about it because she is bringing it up a lot. She's nervous about not having a place to move to yet and so I was reassuring her that it is all going to be fine and God will show us our new house any time now. I reminded her that God created the entire world/universe/everything in six days, so surely that was enough time for him to do something as little as find us a good house to live in! That made her feel better (and me too) and she responded with, "did he even make West Virginia in that time???" When I said yes he had, she said, "WHOA. That's a lot of trees."
After reading the blog over at Bring the Rain and watching their videos, I feel like my situation is so trite. Now I just keep thinking, "don't sweat the small stuff"--and it all seems like small stuff after reading of tragedies other people have to endure. So I have to move to a new city, new job and new house--so what? Really, in the grand scheme of things that is no big deal and the fact that I'm not sure where we're going yet does stress me out a little bit, but I know it's all going to be fine because like Angie said in the video, it never was about us anyways. There never really was a plan b in God's book--only in ours. He knew what his plans were all along.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."