My points of reference...

You know how much I love Christmas.  It's no secret.  But, I mean, why?  Why do I love Christmas?  Why does Christmas have such a spell-binding effect on our whole world? I've been putting some thought into it lately, and this is what I've come up with...

We like Christmas unchanged.  We like the same old decorations, cookies, carols, etc.  That's because Christmas is a still spot in an ever-turning world.  A place of refuge.  Like when a dancer is spinning and they pick one spot to focus on. It's that one point of reference to get their bearings when everything else in the world is moving too fast. 

Christmas is like an old friendship.  Old friendships are time-tested and comfortable.  They are the points of reference that we need when our world is moving too fast.

Allison and Maribel are two of my oldest friends (not that we're old ladies...that will never happen).  I have seen so much life with these women. Allison met me when I was 13 and Maribel met me right after I turned 18. 

We have seen each other thin and heavy.  Pregnant and not pregnant.  Short hair, long hair.  Every fashion trend in the past 25+ years.  We have celebrated the purchases of homes, births of babies, and marriages.  And we have held each other up through trauma, death, and pain.

They have driven for hours through the snow so that I wouldn't have to see my ex-husband arraigned in court for hurting my daughter all by myself.  They have babysat.  They have taken my children for whole summers and have acted as a second mother.  They have tolerated me when I am cranky and laughed until our stomachs hurt and we pee our pants. 

They are my people and I love them.   They are my places of refuge.  They are my Christmas. 

xoxo v.


My grandma's thoughts...

I love my grandma. She has been an ever-present constant in my life from my very first day. She may not be the most sentimental person I know, but she was always there. 

She is a giver. She loves her family and always sacrificed for them. She was always tired, but she just kept on being there. And there weren't many days of my childhood that I didn't not see her, didn't spend time with her. 

As a child I remember her writing in her diary every night before bed. I always wondered what she was writing about.  What thoughts filled my grandma's heart and mind? She now thinks they should all be thrown away because who on earth would want to read any of that boring stuff? Like I said, she's not very sentimental. 

But I'm sentimental enough for the both of us and getting to read what she had to say about the day I was born and other days throughout my life? Priceless. These are treasures. 

Know what else was reconfirmed to me while reading these? That I (and the rest of my family) were as much a part of her every single day as breathing. We are what she wrote about. We were what was important enough to write about every night. 

We are her story. I am her story. How blessed am I to know that?  



Changing the world

This is part four in a series on energy.  You can find the other parts here:

Part two: Empaths

In this post I want to touch briefly on the importance of using our energy for good.  Have you noticed that there is a spiritual awakening happening in our world in the past decade or so?  Ten or twenty years ago to speak casually about any type of spiritual thing would have you labeled as "new age" or some other term that people relate with crazy or irrelevant.

These days, people are starting to get it.  More and more people are meditating.  People are starting to get it and they are starting to wake up.  And it's about time too because our world needs all the awakening it can get right now.

We all hear people say all the time that things just aren't the same as they used to be.  There is so much violence and hatred.  Children can't play outside for fear that something bad will happen to them.  There is sex trafficking and rape.  There always has been, but I mean it is intensely more prevalent these days.  You know what I mean.  

Well, I believe that it is God's plan for this world to begin waking up in order to combat this.  We've already talking about what it means for a person to raise their vibrations.  How if we raise our energy to be more positive, it affects all of the energy around us, the people around us.  

Now think about it, if we can raise the energy of a room, what happens when enough people raise their vibrations?  You will in-turn raise the vibrations of your city, and your country...and if enough people raise to higher energy, then you change the energy of the whole world.  And that is what our world needs right now.  It needs awakened people who are willing to act with love and make it a priority to keep their personal vibrations as high as possible.  Because as enough little candles begin to flicker, the whole world will light up.

xoxo v.

The law of attraction...

This is part three of my series on energy.  You can find part one here and part two here.  In this post I want to address attraction.  As in the law of attraction.

There have been so many seminars and books and infomercials made dealing with this topic as if it's some kind of a get-rick-quick scheme.  While there is some truth to what these programs had to say, I think they were missing the major point of it all.

It isn't, "Think these thoughts and you will bring to you whatever you want".  But it IS, "whatever frequency your energy is vibrating at will attract the same energy."  What you put out, you get back.

Have you ever wanted something so badly but you just couldn't have it?  Whether that thing was a job, a relationship, a person, a friendship, a home, etc.  You wanted it, you fantasized about it, you could practically taste it...but it just wasn't meant for you?  Exactly.  Then you know what I'm talking about.

See, you will attract what is on your vibrational wavelength.  If that job is not going to be good for you...you won't get it.  If that person you want so bad isn't good for you, or maybe they are vibrating at a lower (or higher) frequency than you?  You won't have them either.  You may be able to force it for a while or even manipulate circumstances to get you what you want. But you will never be able to hold onto that thing.You won't be happy or you won't be able to keep that relationship together.  Circumstances will always be against you.

I like to call living right in the middle of that energetic sweet-spot "the flow".  You're right where you are supposed to be and you aren't fighting the system.  You're just allowing things to flow to and from you as they're supposed to.  That's being in the flow.  And when you're in the flow?  The universe conspires for your success.

Let me give you an example.  I knew it was time to leave Paul for quite a while before I actually did.  I was determined to stay and make it work.  No matter how hard I tried, how much work I put into that relationship, it was a daily struggle to coexist and not want to strangle each other.  When the day came that I decided to leave, I made a decision that no matter what it took, I was doing it.  I was leaving Paul and moving home.  So I prayed about it and started planning.

I had NO money.  Like seriously, I was broke.  But I knew that it was time to go.  So, I prayed and told God that I felt like I was being told it was time to move home and I was going to need about $10,000.00 in the next three months to make it happen.  I didn't sit and wait for it to happen, I just started planning as if I already had the money.

I daily fantasized and visualized my new life back in Ohio and the friends I would spend time with.  I kept meditating, and being the person I knew I was supposed to be and I poured positive energy into this "home" project.  Well, the money started flowing in.  It came from every unexpected place you could imagine. Unexpected refund on my financial aid, tuition reimbursement, rebates, an unexpected $1000 bonus at work, etc.  It took until literally the last minute, but when it was all said and done I had been sent $10,000.00 in three months, just in time to move.

And it wasn't just the financial stuff either.  Little things like the movers and my brother being able to help drive the uhaul and not being charged extra to paint my house (long story but it would've cost me a lot of money that I didn't have).  And I had a phone interview with someone at my new place of employment.  After just a few sentences she said, "I never do this, but I just know that this is right and you are saying all the right things.  I'm just going to stop you right here and offer you the job."  Before moving home, I had a place to live and a new job waiting for me.  The universe conspired for my success.   God is good.

The valuable lesson that I learned from all of this is that there is no sense in struggling.  Put your desires out there.  Let them be known...and then release it.  If it is meant to be...if it is vibrating at your frequency...it will come.  You don't have to beg, borrow, steal, or chase it.  Just relax and stay in the flow.

xoxo v.



In part one of this small series on energy, we discussed what energy is and how to raise or lower our vibrations.  In this second post, we will discuss what being an empath means.

So, what is an empath?  When someone is an empath, that means that they can feel the energy or vibrations of other people and things around them as if it were their own.  Empaths have to learn and practice to recognize what is their own energy and what is actually the energy of someone else around them. 

Man do I wish I had known this when I was younger!  This would have saved me so much misery!  Not to mention hospital bills.  I have gone to the ER several times with chest pain or anxiety, except I don't actually have chest pain or anxiety.  I am fine and have no physical symptoms.  And once I would arrive in the ER, my symptoms would be gone.  

They would do the whole work up and I would be sent home with no answers.   I would leave confused and feeling silly, not to mention concerned about my health.  Now I know, that when I am feeling those things, they aren't mine.  I immediately start looking around me for whose they might be.  I have called my coworkers out many times for having chest pain, headaches, or anxiety.  Not call them out in a bad way, but maybe hand them some tylenol, give them a hug, or convince them to go to the ED.  They may look at me like I'm crazy, but I'm always right.  

I actually started getting on my colleague Madge's nerves after a while.  Ha! We sat next to each other, literally elbow to elbow.  I would inevitably have to quietly and nonchalantly say something like "Madge, are you having chest pains again?"  See, Madge didn't like the attention on her and she liked to be in denial that there was anything ever wrong. She NEVER wanted to go get checked out.  At first she was amazed that I could do this, but eventually she would snap in her Jamaican accent, "I told you to stay out of my energy!" LMAO  I would just laugh and get back to work.  But, she knew that I knew.

Riding in cars and elevators is the toughest for me because there is nowhere to escape.  You are just stuck there and you can feel who is anxious, angry, sad, content.  I think anxiety is the worst for me to be around because it sits like this ball of anxious energy right over my heart and can be quite uncomfortable.

The key is to get so familiar with your own energy that you can recognize when it is an energy different than your own. An energy that wouldn't make sense for you to have right then.  This is sometimes hard and takes practice.  

The only way to really do this is to spend a lot of time alone.  If you are or know an empath, you will know that they like to spend a lot of time in solitude.  People used to give me a lot of grief because I like to be at home by myself most of the time.  Don't get me wrong, I like hanging out with people, but usually only with 1 or 2 people at a time and it depends on the environment.  And my battery runs out quickly because my energy sponge gets saturated and I need to go home and get back to myself.  

There are things that empaths can do, such as shielding themselves from other people's energy.  Here is a quick meditation that can help shield you.  

Sit quietly and close your eyes.  Focus on your breathing. Breathe in for 5 seconds, then slowly breathe out for five seconds.  Do this over and over.  Then slowly begin to imagine a shimmering white light flowing down from Heaven.  This is God's protective white light and it is going to make a cocoon around you.  Imagine it flowing down like wet paint and slowly oozing in a protective bubble around you.  The bubble is a few feet above you and a few feet all around you.  Nothing negative can penetrate this bubble.  Only positive, healing, loving light can enter your bubble.  All other energy is deflected and returned to its source.  

As you move throughout your day, if you notice that you're having trouble maintaining that shield, repeat the process.  Personally, I have trouble maintaining it for very long.  I don't know if it's because I need more practice or if it's because I feel everything so strongly.  Either way, I have to repeat it often through my day.  If there is something or someone particularly strong bothering me, I will pray and ask God to sever the cord between myself and anything that is sending me negativity or draining my vitality.  Instantly, I can feel that energy stop.  

What is important to remember as an empath is this:

  • You cannot control the energy you are around all of the time, but you can choose to shield yourself when around negativity.
  • When you can choose who you are around, choose wisely.  Because what you are around, you will feel and (even if only temporarily) become.
  • Ask for the cord to be severed between you and any negativity when it gets to be a lot to handle
  • Remember to trust your gut!  You will know immediately if someone is a good person or a troubled person.  If they aren't being truthful.  What kind of a mood they're in, etc.  Energy doesn't lie.  Believe the energy.
  • Meditate.  It will raise your own vibrations and keep you in a content, loving, positive place.
  • Sometimes you can use this gift to not only be a thermometer, but a thermostat.  If you are feeling someone's grief, anxiety, sadness, etc. you can reach out a loving hand and affect their energy with your own.  It works both ways. 

xoxo v.


I'm picking up good vibrations...

 Lets have a lesson on energy.  First of all, do you know that everything is energy?  Because it is.  You, me, this coffee table, the sky, situations...it's all just a bunch of compiled energy.  And every bit of energy vibrates at a specific frequency.  Still with me?  Good.

It's really not that hard if you think about it, yet some people act like it is the most foreign concept in the world.  But, really it's simple...everything is energy and everything vibrates at a specific frequency.  That frequency is different depending on the object and frequencies (also known as vibrations or energy) that are similar are drawn to each other.

Higher vibrations feel lighter, happier, peaceful, joyful, content, open-minded, calm, loving, etc.  Lower vibrations feel heavy, depressed, angry, violent, unhappy, cynical, filled with complaints, etc.  Have you ever been around someone with low vibrations?  We all have and usually you can tell right away.  They are the "Debbie Downer", glass half empty sort of people.

No one enjoys that.  The thing is that they aren't just unfun to be around, but they actually start to lower your vibrations to match theirs.  That is, if you haven't already run out of the room as quickly as you could in order to get away from them.

Have you seen the study on the water molecules that changed based on the human emotion they are around?  I'll post it here because it is fascinating.  Water that has higher energy emotions (love, etc) were a beautiful, graceful shape.  Whereas water that was around lower energy emotion was jagged and distorted.  Our bodies are mostly made up of water...so what happens to us physically and how do we feel when we allow ourselves to stay in a lower vibrational place?  Think about it.

Above is the entire video if you choose to watch it, and below is a picture of the results of the water:

Luckily, humans have the full ability to choose their frequency.  By this I mean that it is a choice what kind of energy you want to have.  You can choose to be negative and unhealthy, or you can choose to be loving and kind.  There are also things that you can do to raise or lower your energy.

If you want to raise your energy.....
  • Listen to positive music
  • Watch positive TV shows and movies
  • Hang around positive people
  • Don't curse
  • MEDITATE! (This is the number one way to raise those vibrations!)
What will lower your energy?  You guessed it...the opposite of the suggestions already mentioned...

  • Watch scary or violent movies
  • Listen to negative, hate-filled music
  • Complain a lot
  • Use a lot of curse words 
  • Don't meditate
  • Hang around negative people
It's pretty simple math actually.  1+1=2 and all that.  It all really is our choice.  For a long time, I didn't know and so I stayed in negative relationships that really drug me down.  Now that I know better, I do better and I feel SO much lighter and happier.  I will never go back either.  Keep me where the light is.

I think I will do a small series on energy for those who are interested.  You can find the other parts in the series here:

Part two: Empaths

Part three: The law of attraction

Part four: Changing the world

xoxo v.


My handsome boy...

Darren was clean-shaven
with a new haircut. 

I had a get a picture of my boy looking 
fresh for summer. 

Looking good D!

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