Off we go....

Okay, so I started my new herbal program.
Can't remember the names of what is in this tincture I'm taking three
times per day because I didn't recognize any of them.

Plus, I also started taking barley grass.

Several people at work have been taking it
for the past several months and they
about it.
Paul bought some last month and he says good things about it too.
This stuff is amazing & I can't believe I didn't
learn about it & get on the band-wagon years ago!
Here's a link to one of the many sites where you can
read about it's benefits....

So, I bought some and I've taken it twice so far.
I mix it in some water and down the hatch.
It's not the kind of thing you can think about for too long
because it looks nasty.

But I have to say...
This morning I woke up and my hands weren't achey.
That hasn't happened in.....
I don't know, YEARS maybe?

And the past two days I have had crazy energy!

Like instead of getting out of bed and flopping on the couch,
I got up, prepared dinner to cook & then folded my laundry.

Yeah, I know.

So, time will tell if it's purely a mental thing
or if it's because this stuff will help me.

Lets hope it's because it's helping me.
xoxo veronica


In which I wig out

You know what I love?  Normalcy.  Things that other people take for granted as being ho-hum.  Such as, this morning Paul & I took my car over to the mechanic so that they could flush my radiator and refill my coolant (because my car has been acting stank at times lately).  After that, because I was carless for a while, I rode around with him while he ran errands.  Most people would love that.  Me?  I ate that shit up.  I love just being in his presence and doing "normal" shit.

While we were out, I got a call from my rheumatologist's office about the lab work I had drawn the other day.  They said my glucose was in the 140's (crap), my c-reactive protein is 17.2 and my sed rate was 26.  My first thought was, "Nah brah, I'm not even trying to be diabetic.  I need to lose some weight and get that sugar under control quick."  The other two tests measure inflammation in your body.  26 for a sed rate is high, but mine is usually like 35, so I was happy with a 26, that means some improvement.  The crp test, I knew measured inflammation, but I couldn't remember the normal values for that, so I didn't wig out about it.  Until I googled it, that is and then google fully convinced me that some wigging is in order.

I learned that it is a protein that is released from the liver under periods of acute inflammation.  I also learned that they aren't sure whether this is also a marker for heart disease, or if chronic high levels of it in your blood help cause heart disease.  It said that people with high crp levels (especially women) are TWICE as likely to have a heart attack or stroke than people with high cholesterol alone.  TWICE!  And what do they consider high?  Well, the "extremely high" category stopped at THREE.  Mine was 17.2!!!!! (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

*sufficient wigging out ensued*

So, google got a fierce workout today.  I learned that healthy eating, especially fresh fruits and veggies & high-fiber foods, can lower the levels.  The other way to lower them is by getting rid of the root source... inflammation.  Yeah, fat chance that will happen with having lupus and fibromyalgia and all.

So you wanna know what my man did?  My so far, over all wonderful man?  He said, "Then we're gonna make some changes together.  I need to make them anyways, but we can't have you being sick.  You have little girls that need you."  And then he drove me all the way across town to this little herb shop that he knows up in Biltmore to get me some things that are supposed to help with inflammation.  And he's already been talking about changing our diets, and by "our" diets, I really mean mine.  See, he's been on this healthy eating thing for quite a while now and is pretty good at it.  Me?  I'm a pretty hard sell.  He mentioned salad and I felt the crease in my forehead show up meaning I'm furrowing my brow in deep thought (yeah, thoughts of how nasty salad is).

This is going to be one huge learning curve for me.  Seriously, I'm BAD at this stuff.  My mom sent me an email talking about diabetic diets (thanks Mom) & she said, "you probably already know this stuff, but...".  Well, nope.  I don't really know that stuff.  I know technically on some level I do because I'm a nurse and all, but it's something my brain resists wrapping around.  Yeah, I'm gonna need help with this. lol


That's me pouting like a toddler.

xoxo veronica


xoxo veronica


"Guys! I just GAGGED!"

This is my favorite commercial right now & has been for a while! :)

"GUYS!  I just GAGGED!"
has become a regular catch phrase around here.
As has, "Hook.  Line.  Sinker.  DONE."

Love it! :)

xoxo veronica

Just finished....

So what to say about this book?  Hmmm.
Well, it wasn't horrible.
It was pleasant, even in the rough spots,
which I think was precisely the problem.

It lacked umph.
It merely rambled on predictable and at a snail's pace.

So, bummer that I didn't love it,
but I did like it.
It was okay.

xoxo veronica


I wonder if he missed me too....

The one goal I had for this year (that actually mattered to me),
was to go see John Mayer in concert.
Besides "No Doubt", he is my favorite musician, well lets see...
He was here last night.
I wasn't able to be there.
I'm so sad today because of it.
xoxo veronica


Friday five

  1. Okay, so Emma's birthday party was a success.  She's very glad I'm dating Paul because MY plan had been to cook her favorite dinner & bake her a cake.  HIS plan was to have an actual party.  Ten kids, streamers, balloons & helium tank, four-foot sub, cake, etc.  She wanted pink & brown as her theme and luckily (for me) there were Hello Kitty decorations in just those colors (woot!).  Yep, by the time the party started, there was Hello Kitty ablaze in my dining room.  Love it!  It turned out good though & I was glad that we did it.  It's kind of like working out or going to church...never wanna do it until I'm there and then I'm glad I went.
  2. I applied for a new job.  And I got it. I have to be careful what I say, because my job is still with the same company, it's just in another capacity with another division.  In my current position I was watching something occur that I don't want any part of and needed to move on from that situation.  So, I applied for a few other positions and decided to take one of them that will be something totally new and different from what I've ever done.  I'll tell you more about it as I decide what I think of it.  Oh and get this... it's DAYSHIFT.  Yeah, I know right?  Pray for me y'all, I'm goin' in!
  3. Paul & I went to see "Dinner for Schmucks" the other night.  I really didn't like it.  It had a few funny lines, but overall I just thought it was stupid.
  4. My twenty year class reunion is today and I don't get to be there.  TWENTY YEARS!!!  How in the world did I graduate TWENTY YEARS AGO??  
  5. Nothing else really new here.  Things are well, kids are well, I'm well.  Hope you're well too.
xoxo veronica


A sign? The sign.

Remember the original photo that my blogging friend Suz took last year?
The one that I considered a sign to move to Arizona?

Well, last week Paul had to go on a local trip for business....
and look what picture I receive on my phone. :)

Yep, THE sign that became the sign.
I think THAT'S a sign!
Of what, I'm not sure yet...but it has to be good.

As Suz said,

Hope is a Road,
Hope is a choice,
Hope is a small town in Arizona.

xoxo veronica


Come correct or don't come at all

"A man never trips over a mountain,
but he shall stumble over pebbles."

Allllllll the big stuff in a relationship can be on point, but if the little things are a little askew, it can be the downfall of the whole operation.  There's no downfall yet, just saying.  My eyes are open to some potential little stumble-worthy pebbles.  I've had enough of these little pebbles and am not willing to tolerate anymore.  So we'll see if the pebbles can be walked over or if they will bring the whole thing tumbling down.  I guess all I can say is, stay tuned.
xoxo veronica


Passion for my Christ

Courtney started her own new blog today.
You should check it out
over at:

She has a youtube video
that we have watched for years.
It's quite powerful and you won't leave untouched by it.
 Here, take a look at it...

xoxo veronica


Can you love me for a lifetime in just one night?

Now that my relationship with Collin is long over, I can look back on things with a different perspective. Every other relationship I've ever had, ended with a "Thank God that's over! Not this time. What was different this time was that I loved him passionately. I was happy to see him, I hated for him to leave. I tried to pack every possible moment in every single day together with as much love and laughter as I could.... love him for an entire lifetime in just one day. I didn't end up with my "forever" or my "happy ending" with him, but who says I didn't love him for an entire lifetime? Who's to say what a "life" is anyways? I could have married him and he could have died the next day...or I could. So essentially, I have already loved him enough for a lifetime in just the short time I was allowed to exist in his universe.

When he went away, to say my heart was broken would be just too simple. As I lowered to my knees and let my head fall to the ground, I wept. A million tears I wept and then I wept some more. My heart was shattered, my soul, my mind. As I began to heal, which was inevitable, I knew that I would be okay, but I also thought I knew that I would never again experience that kind of love force in my life. I thought the odds were just too astronomical to be able to experience that kind of love quake more than once. Still, I don't know that I ever will, but I know that right now I am looking at something that has the strong potential to be something pretty damn close...if not far surpass it.

So what do I do about the fact that I can be scared to death about starting something new? Always waiting in some way for the other shoe to drop. What do I do? What I do is this.... I love this person enough for an entire lifetime every single time I see him so that if he goes away, I have nothing left to say and no regrets.  I might not be able to totally get over the fear of them going away, or being alone the next day, but now I look at that one opportunity that I have as a brilliant, precious thing that I must cherish, just in case it IS the last time I get to see them.

The key is to milk every wonderful, magical & heavenly drop out of your relationships and to always remember the person is not yours to keep. Not even if I got to spend the rest of my life with him, he’s still not mine to keep. Life eventually ends for everyone and we’re left standing there alone in the end, no matter what. So what I do have is now. And now, today, here is pretty wonderful and I have a good feeling that I'm looking at some ever better tomorrows.

"We have only this moment, 
sparkling like a star in our hand 
and melting like a snowflake...” 
Marie Beyon Ray

xoxo veronica
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