8.16.2017

Holding Space...

 

Sometimes I wonder if you will ever come. I have been looking for you for more of my life than I haven't been. I've thought perhaps I found you a few times, but quickly realized I was wrong. 

A few have come close. One was pretty spot-on. He was everything. Everything but mine that is. 

So I keep on. I'm no longer looking though. I'm not searching. I just am. I am content. Alone, quiet, evolving, awakening. 

Sometimes I am more content than others. Sometimes I am lonely and wonder what I am doing waiting around for some hypothetical dream of a man. It would be so easy to settle. I left another  perfectly beautiful man so I can wait alone. 

He was beautiful but not beautifully made for me. He could be mine though. He was mine for many years.  Just this week he told me, "I don't believe we are better apart," making it clear that he is still mine if I only ask. 

It would be safe and comfortable.  Yet, I know there is more.  There are men that flirt and I know I could also settle for one of those. Scratch this lonely itch. Yet I know there is more. 

I can feel you out there. I know you are there. And I think...if a man that wasn't meant for me was so wonderful and felt like such a perfect match, just imagine what the man God did intend for me will be like. 

So I wait. I wait and I do the work on myself so that I will be a good partner to you. I wait and enjoy this life and live in the moment. I wait and I hold the space for you. I hold the space that could so easily be filled with the wrong...wrong man, wrong situation, wrong timing. I hold the space and wonder where you are and what you're doing. I wonder what you've been through. I wonder if you're doing the work too or if you're one of those beautiful, rare people who haven't been through much and are amazingly intact. 

I wonder if I'll know you right away or if you will have to grow on me. I wonder if you'll know me right away or if I'll have to grow on you. I wonder where I will meet you. I'm assuming at work because I've told God I'm not looking for you and that he will have to set you right here in front of me. 

Regardless of who you are or what you've been though, I will continue to hold the space for you. I cannot wait to meet you. 



 

8.10.2017

Fragile...


For the last week or so I have been way more fragile than I normally am. I find that I'm seriously emotional and cry easily.  Sometimes without any warning a wave just grabs me. 

It interesting to observe the way I've reacted to grief.  To my conscious mind I'm not really grieving. I'm peaceful with my Grandma's passing, even though I'm sad about it. 

Yet here I am. I'm reacting the way I'm reacting and all I can do is observe it happening. I'm sort of just along for the ride. 

In the first days after she died, I was very visibly looking to numb and medicate. I ate everything comforting I could find and went shopping when I shouldn't have and spent more than I should have. I wanted cozy clothes and soft, warm blankets. It was all about comfort, comfort, comfort. 

The following week, I was experiencing the grief in my body in a horrible way. I almost felt like I had the flu. I hurt, and I just wanted to lay down and be left alone. 

This week, I'm doing okay most of the time. I don't even consciously think about it most of the time. However, there are the tears. I can be doing something totally benign and not even thinking about anything sad, and tears will start falling from my eyes. Also, I feel so lonely and sad. I never feel that way. I love alone time and I love being single. But this week, I'm am super lonely (but not lonely enough to spend time with people though lol). 

I don't know, it's weird. People grieve in their own ways. It's interesting to watch my soul go through this grieving process when I don't even really feel like I am grieving. 

Just though I'd share. 
 

8.03.2017

She did it!




She did it ☺️ My Grandma figured out how to visit me in my dreams. 💜

I was working at a nursing home (I think). I was bent forward taking care of a patient sitting down. I looked over to my right and realized my Grandma was sitting right next to me looking at me. I stood up and was happy and excited. I said, "Hi Grandma!" She just looked back at me and smiled and said hi. It was that simple. ☺️

There was one other scene but I can't remember the dialogue from it. All I remember from the other scene is that she appeared to have an old, faded tattoo on her forehead. It was so faded that it almost looked drawn on with water colors. It was like a crown of flowers. There was a large yellow rose in the middle of her forehead and then leaves/vine going off to the sides. It was really rather pretty.  
💛 

meaning of seeing a rose in a dream: 


Very fitting, don't you think?

 In another note, after I had woken up and realized that I had dreamed about her, I was so happy and was trying to go back to sleep. I was just falling asleep and had this quick little dream of a dragonfly flying/floating in front of me.

xoxo v.

7.31.2017

Rest in Peace Grandma...



I remember how deeply the sight of the hearse bothered me when my dad died.  It's like the sight of that large, black car sitting by the door symbolized the finality of it all.  Today as I pulled up to the funeral home, I took some deep breaths and braced for the same impact of seeing the hearse that would carry my Grandma to her final resting place...but there was no impact.  It wasn't the same at all.

Once inside the funeral home, the air is always tense in the first handful of  moments.  Emotions are fresh and we are all feeling fragile.  I kept reminding myself that if I just hang on, the rawness of the moment will fade.  Inevitably, someone will say something funny or someone else will ask a question.  Before you know it, the heightened energy settles into a normalcy of comfortable conversation.

Last night at the wake, little did I know going in, but I was to be the unplanned breaker of the ice.  I had brought a heart-shaped stone that has on it something about families lasting forever.  I planned to slip it down beside my Grandma in the casket to keep with her forever (I have a matching one that I will keep).

Well, how was I supposed to know that she wasn't on some cushy mattress?  How was I supposed to know that she is only on a platform and that all around and underneath her is empty?  I thought I was dropping this down onto the mattress next to her, but instead it fell to the bottom of the casket with a loud "CLANG!" (think dropping a large rock into a metal bucket). At first I gasped, but then all I could do was laugh.  My mom came up and stuck her arm down into the casket feeling for it.  It was actually kind of funny and I felt better after that.




There were ten Grandsons and so they all lined up to be pall bearers.  Then those of us in the immediate family followed behind the casket and down to the hearse.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed by grief, I felt such a sense of pride and love.  I had a peace that things were exactly as they should be.  As Julian of Norwich said best, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."  I felt like we were taking care of the woman we loved and she was being honored beautifully.

As we made our way slowly toward the cemetery where she would once again sleep next to my Grandpa, I started to lose it a little bit.  When emotion comes, it's better to let it come and not to judge it.  Just let it pass through.

I decided to name one-by-one all of the ways that I am grateful that she is my Grandmother.  "I'm grateful that you're my Grandma because you taught me how to cry and be vulnerable, then stand back up and keep moving forward.  I am grateful you are my Grandma because you showed me the importance of taking time to pamper yourself whether you feel you can afford it or not (my Grandma used to swear by getting her hair done and she loved to go out to eat).  I'm grateful that you're my grandma because you taught me the importance of being creative."  On and on until I felt peace wash over me.




I always taught my kids, "Never be afraid to be the asshole taking pictures.  Eventually, people who judged you will be the ones asking for copies."  Well, today I was afraid to be the asshole and I'm grateful that my daughter listened to what I taught her.  She took some beautiful photos and I then came asking her for copies.  Life is for living.  It is about appreciating the moment that you're in and all of the beauty that can be found, even if it is wrapped in a sad moment.  Celebrate the relationships you are given and appreciate the moments the Lord has given you.  Love and be grateful.  Pictures capture the moments of our lives.  They capture the little moments of magic and rawness that would easily be forgotten if not for photographs.  Never be afraid to take the picture.

As I stood at the graveside listening to the priest say lovely things of comfort, I looked up and saw a dragonfly right in front of me on my cousin's shoulder.  I smiled and thanked God for it (because I always associate dragonflies with spirit) and it came and sat right on my hand for several seconds.  I took that as a direct sign of love and comfort.  That was one of my favorite parts of the day.

After the service, we all hung out and ate and just loved on each other for a few hours.  It was a bittersweet time.  There are some that are afraid that we will all lose touch now that Grandma has passed, but I firmly believe that will never happen.  Our family is too tight.  Even if we can only see each other once or twice a year, I believe we will always have that. 

 (Me, Emma, Courtney, Mom and step-Dad)

 (sisters)




 (cousins)


This life truly is all about perspective, isn't it?  I realized that the words "unfinished business" could sum up everything about my relationship with my dad.  Whereas with my Grandma, there was nothing left unfinished in her life or between us.  No, as I crawled down the road behind the hearse,  instead of it looming heavy and sad, the sight of it seemed regal to me.  It was a beautiful and powerful vehicle befitting the honor being shown to the beloved matriarch of our family.




xoxov.

7.27.2017

I'll be seeing you...


It finally happened.  We've been dreading this day for years if we are honest.  My Grandma was ninety-five years old, so we've known it could happen at any moment for a long time now.  But today it finally happened.  My Grandma passed away.

As I type that sentence a fresh wave of tears and grief wash over me and I stare out the window.  I've never known what a world without my Grandma looks like.  The flowers still look just as purple and the sky just as blue.  How can someone so special leave the world and yet the world looks exactly the same?  





This is such a bitter-sweet moment because she has been longing to go for decades now.  Anyone who knew her knew that when it was her time to go, she would be doing cartwheels into Heaven. She was just so fed up with life...losing people she loves, losing her eyesight and her hearing, being less mobile.  She loved us, but mentally and emotionally she's had one foot out of the door for a very long time.

So with that being said, I'm happy for her.  This was a beautiful thing and I know she is so happy right now.  But for us?  Those left behind? Today our hearts are broken.

 as a working girl during WWII


It just occurred to me that I will never hear her voice again.  That makes me sad.  My Grandma has been ever-present in my life since the day I was born.  I grew up seeing my grandma nearly every day of my life during my childhood.  No exaggeration.  My family was very close and so I saw my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins often (usually daily).

Most families aren't that close and so don't understand what it is like.  Growing up like that shaped me and shaped my world-view of family life.  That's what I think family life should look like, which is why it is hard for me to be away from my kids or grandchild.



My Grandma had a servant's heart.  She poured herself out for her family.  Even if that meant she was a taxi shuttle for everyone that needed a ride to or from somewhere.  If her family needed it, she did it.  She would babysit, ferry us around, and come to every school performance we had.  I think she was sad, lonely, and tired most of the time.  Looking back, I think that my grandma's love language was acts of service and I honestly don't know how much of that was given back to her...so her cup stayed empty a lot of the time.



When I think of my grandparent's house, I think plastic Easter eggs on the tree branches, lilacs blooming, green grass as far as the eye could see.  Wandering carefree through the field and picking wild strawberries to eat as we layed back and cloud-watched.  Picking beans and peas in the garden.  Shucking corn.  Game shows playing on the TV and in the summer a box fan humming in the background .  In the winter, I have memories of the acres behind their house blanketed in white snow with the rustic old red barn in contrast against it.

Grandma's house meant cookies in the cookie jar (which I still have)...but don't take the last one.  Ice cream from the deep-freeze in the breezeway, but only a little bit.  And if you were good, you could have a small glass of Grandma's pop out of the little bottles in the fridge.

She loved to do crafts and work on puzzle books.  She would always let me sit behind her in her chair and "do her hair."  I'd brush it and get curlers stuck in it.  Looking back now, I know that was probably the only physical touch she was really getting so she would love to have me play with her hair.

She wore rain bonnets and carried hankies and called margarine "oleo."  She loved to go out to eat and shop.  My Grandpa drove her crazy, but she loved him.

She taught me how to sing "Mairzy Doats" ("Oh mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy...a kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?") and we would sing it in the car.


"Mairzy Doats"

I love her.  She was my one true thing.  It was as if she was always there and always would be.  I think I got a lot of my strength from her.  All of the women in my family are strong and I think they got it from her too.  I've seen her cry and want to give up many times, but she didn't.  She was a resilient, get-on-with-it kind of person.  She was always very pragmatic and kept it moving.  She has said to me more than once, "What choice do we have but to keep moving?" 

One consolation I have is that there was nothing left unsaid between us.  I've had several conversations with her about her passing.  Most recently, after my uncle passed away we spoke about it again.  She was so disgusted that "young people" would get taken but not her and then we both acknowledged that it likely wouldn't be long before she was taken from us too.

Me: "I'm going to be devastated when you go."
Her: "Oh for Heaven's sakes Ronica!  Don't you dare be devastated for me! I'll be so happy to go."
Me: "No, for you I'll be happy.  But for me, I will be devastated.  It will break my heart when you go.  Will you come visit me after you do?  Will you come visit me in my dreams?"
Her: [pausing in thought because this never occurred to her] "Well....I would sure like to try!  Yeah, if I can figure out how, I will certainly do that."
Me: "I love you.  And I will miss you."
Her: "I love you too honey.  But don't miss me too much because I'll be okay."

I've never known what a world without my grandma looks like.  The flowers still look just as purple and the sky just as blue.  How can someone so special leave the world and yet the world looks exactly the same?  Maybe it's because she isn't really gone.  No one is ever really gone.  She is still all around us, and always will be.



RIP
Laura Jeanne Linden
April 13, 1922 - July 27, 2017

We love you and will miss you.




"I'll be Seeing You"
by
Billie Holiday 



xoxo v.

7.07.2017

My points of reference...




You know how much I love Christmas.  It's no secret.  But, I mean, why?  Why do I love Christmas?  Why does Christmas have such a spell-binding effect on our whole world? I've been putting some thought into it lately, and this is what I've come up with...

We like Christmas unchanged.  We like the same old decorations, cookies, carols, etc.  That's because Christmas is a still spot in an ever-turning world.  A place of refuge.  Like when a dancer is spinning and they pick one spot to focus on. It's that one point of reference to get their bearings when everything else in the world is moving too fast. 

Christmas is like an old friendship.  Old friendships are time-tested and comfortable.  They are the points of reference that we need when our world is moving too fast.

Allison and Maribel are two of my oldest friends (not that we're old ladies...that will never happen).  I have seen so much life with these women. Allison met me when I was 13 and Maribel met me right after I turned 18. 

We have seen each other thin and heavy.  Pregnant and not pregnant.  Short hair, long hair.  Every fashion trend in the past 25+ years.  We have celebrated the purchases of homes, births of babies, and marriages.  And we have held each other up through trauma, death, and pain.

They have driven for hours through the snow so that I wouldn't have to see my ex-husband arraigned in court for hurting my daughter all by myself.  They have babysat.  They have taken my children for whole summers and have acted as a second mother.  They have tolerated me when I am cranky and laughed until our stomachs hurt and we pee our pants. 

They are my people and I love them.   They are my places of refuge.  They are my Christmas. 




xoxo v.

5.15.2017

My grandma's thoughts...


I love my grandma. She has been an ever-present constant in my life from my very first day. She may not be the most sentimental person I know, but she was always there. 


She is a giver. She loves her family and always sacrificed for them. She was always tired, but she just kept on being there. And there weren't many days of my childhood that I didn't not see her, didn't spend time with her. 


As a child I remember her writing in her diary every night before bed. I always wondered what she was writing about.  What thoughts filled my grandma's heart and mind? She now thinks they should all be thrown away because who on earth would want to read any of that boring stuff? Like I said, she's not very sentimental. 


But I'm sentimental enough for the both of us and getting to read what she had to say about the day I was born and other days throughout my life? Priceless. These are treasures. 


Know what else was reconfirmed to me while reading these? That I (and the rest of my family) were as much a part of her every single day as breathing. We are what she wrote about. We were what was important enough to write about every night. 


We are her story. I am her story. How blessed am I to know that?  




 

5.13.2017

Changing the world


This is part four in a series on energy.  You can find the other parts here:


Part two: Empaths


In this post I want to touch briefly on the importance of using our energy for good.  Have you noticed that there is a spiritual awakening happening in our world in the past decade or so?  Ten or twenty years ago to speak casually about any type of spiritual thing would have you labeled as "new age" or some other term that people relate with crazy or irrelevant.

These days, people are starting to get it.  More and more people are meditating.  People are starting to get it and they are starting to wake up.  And it's about time too because our world needs all the awakening it can get right now.

We all hear people say all the time that things just aren't the same as they used to be.  There is so much violence and hatred.  Children can't play outside for fear that something bad will happen to them.  There is sex trafficking and rape.  There always has been, but I mean it is intensely more prevalent these days.  You know what I mean.  

Well, I believe that it is God's plan for this world to begin waking up in order to combat this.  We've already talking about what it means for a person to raise their vibrations.  How if we raise our energy to be more positive, it affects all of the energy around us, the people around us.  

Now think about it, if we can raise the energy of a room, what happens when enough people raise their vibrations?  You will in-turn raise the vibrations of your city, and your country...and if enough people raise to higher energy, then you change the energy of the whole world.  And that is what our world needs right now.  It needs awakened people who are willing to act with love and make it a priority to keep their personal vibrations as high as possible.  Because as enough little candles begin to flicker, the whole world will light up.







xoxo v.

The law of attraction...


This is part three of my series on energy.  You can find part one here and part two here.  In this post I want to address attraction.  As in the law of attraction.

There have been so many seminars and books and infomercials made dealing with this topic as if it's some kind of a get-rick-quick scheme.  While there is some truth to what these programs had to say, I think they were missing the major point of it all.

It isn't, "Think these thoughts and you will bring to you whatever you want".  But it IS, "whatever frequency your energy is vibrating at will attract the same energy."  What you put out, you get back.


Have you ever wanted something so badly but you just couldn't have it?  Whether that thing was a job, a relationship, a person, a friendship, a home, etc.  You wanted it, you fantasized about it, you could practically taste it...but it just wasn't meant for you?  Exactly.  Then you know what I'm talking about.

See, you will attract what is on your vibrational wavelength.  If that job is not going to be good for you...you won't get it.  If that person you want so bad isn't good for you, or maybe they are vibrating at a lower (or higher) frequency than you?  You won't have them either.  You may be able to force it for a while or even manipulate circumstances to get you what you want. But you will never be able to hold onto that thing.You won't be happy or you won't be able to keep that relationship together.  Circumstances will always be against you.

I like to call living right in the middle of that energetic sweet-spot "the flow".  You're right where you are supposed to be and you aren't fighting the system.  You're just allowing things to flow to and from you as they're supposed to.  That's being in the flow.  And when you're in the flow?  The universe conspires for your success.


Let me give you an example.  I knew it was time to leave Paul for quite a while before I actually did.  I was determined to stay and make it work.  No matter how hard I tried, how much work I put into that relationship, it was a daily struggle to coexist and not want to strangle each other.  When the day came that I decided to leave, I made a decision that no matter what it took, I was doing it.  I was leaving Paul and moving home.  So I prayed about it and started planning.

I had NO money.  Like seriously, I was broke.  But I knew that it was time to go.  So, I prayed and told God that I felt like I was being told it was time to move home and I was going to need about $10,000.00 in the next three months to make it happen.  I didn't sit and wait for it to happen, I just started planning as if I already had the money.

I daily fantasized and visualized my new life back in Ohio and the friends I would spend time with.  I kept meditating, and being the person I knew I was supposed to be and I poured positive energy into this "home" project.  Well, the money started flowing in.  It came from every unexpected place you could imagine. Unexpected refund on my financial aid, tuition reimbursement, rebates, an unexpected $1000 bonus at work, etc.  It took until literally the last minute, but when it was all said and done I had been sent $10,000.00 in three months, just in time to move.

And it wasn't just the financial stuff either.  Little things like the movers and my brother being able to help drive the uhaul and not being charged extra to paint my house (long story but it would've cost me a lot of money that I didn't have).  And I had a phone interview with someone at my new place of employment.  After just a few sentences she said, "I never do this, but I just know that this is right and you are saying all the right things.  I'm just going to stop you right here and offer you the job."  Before moving home, I had a place to live and a new job waiting for me.  The universe conspired for my success.   God is good.

The valuable lesson that I learned from all of this is that there is no sense in struggling.  Put your desires out there.  Let them be known...and then release it.  If it is meant to be...if it is vibrating at your frequency...it will come.  You don't have to beg, borrow, steal, or chase it.  Just relax and stay in the flow.





xoxo v.

5.12.2017

Empaths



In part one of this small series on energy, we discussed what energy is and how to raise or lower our vibrations.  In this second post, we will discuss what being an empath means.

So, what is an empath?  When someone is an empath, that means that they can feel the energy or vibrations of other people and things around them as if it were their own.  Empaths have to learn and practice to recognize what is their own energy and what is actually the energy of someone else around them. 

Man do I wish I had known this when I was younger!  This would have saved me so much misery!  Not to mention hospital bills.  I have gone to the ER several times with chest pain or anxiety, except I don't actually have chest pain or anxiety.  I am fine and have no physical symptoms.  And once I would arrive in the ER, my symptoms would be gone.  

They would do the whole work up and I would be sent home with no answers.   I would leave confused and feeling silly, not to mention concerned about my health.  Now I know, that when I am feeling those things, they aren't mine.  I immediately start looking around me for whose they might be.  I have called my coworkers out many times for having chest pain, headaches, or anxiety.  Not call them out in a bad way, but maybe hand them some tylenol, give them a hug, or convince them to go to the ED.  They may look at me like I'm crazy, but I'm always right.  

I actually started getting on my colleague Madge's nerves after a while.  Ha! We sat next to each other, literally elbow to elbow.  I would inevitably have to quietly and nonchalantly say something like "Madge, are you having chest pains again?"  See, Madge didn't like the attention on her and she liked to be in denial that there was anything ever wrong. She NEVER wanted to go get checked out.  At first she was amazed that I could do this, but eventually she would snap in her Jamaican accent, "I told you to stay out of my energy!" LMAO  I would just laugh and get back to work.  But, she knew that I knew.

Riding in cars and elevators is the toughest for me because there is nowhere to escape.  You are just stuck there and you can feel who is anxious, angry, sad, content.  I think anxiety is the worst for me to be around because it sits like this ball of anxious energy right over my heart and can be quite uncomfortable.

The key is to get so familiar with your own energy that you can recognize when it is an energy different than your own. An energy that wouldn't make sense for you to have right then.  This is sometimes hard and takes practice.  

The only way to really do this is to spend a lot of time alone.  If you are or know an empath, you will know that they like to spend a lot of time in solitude.  People used to give me a lot of grief because I like to be at home by myself most of the time.  Don't get me wrong, I like hanging out with people, but usually only with 1 or 2 people at a time and it depends on the environment.  And my battery runs out quickly because my energy sponge gets saturated and I need to go home and get back to myself.  

There are things that empaths can do, such as shielding themselves from other people's energy.  Here is a quick meditation that can help shield you.  

Sit quietly and close your eyes.  Focus on your breathing. Breathe in for 5 seconds, then slowly breathe out for five seconds.  Do this over and over.  Then slowly begin to imagine a shimmering white light flowing down from Heaven.  This is God's protective white light and it is going to make a cocoon around you.  Imagine it flowing down like wet paint and slowly oozing in a protective bubble around you.  The bubble is a few feet above you and a few feet all around you.  Nothing negative can penetrate this bubble.  Only positive, healing, loving light can enter your bubble.  All other energy is deflected and returned to its source.  

As you move throughout your day, if you notice that you're having trouble maintaining that shield, repeat the process.  Personally, I have trouble maintaining it for very long.  I don't know if it's because I need more practice or if it's because I feel everything so strongly.  Either way, I have to repeat it often through my day.  If there is something or someone particularly strong bothering me, I will pray and ask God to sever the cord between myself and anything that is sending me negativity or draining my vitality.  Instantly, I can feel that energy stop.  

What is important to remember as an empath is this:

  • You cannot control the energy you are around all of the time, but you can choose to shield yourself when around negativity.
  • When you can choose who you are around, choose wisely.  Because what you are around, you will feel and (even if only temporarily) become.
  • Ask for the cord to be severed between you and any negativity when it gets to be a lot to handle
  • Remember to trust your gut!  You will know immediately if someone is a good person or a troubled person.  If they aren't being truthful.  What kind of a mood they're in, etc.  Energy doesn't lie.  Believe the energy.
  • Meditate.  It will raise your own vibrations and keep you in a content, loving, positive place.
  • Sometimes you can use this gift to not only be a thermometer, but a thermostat.  If you are feeling someone's grief, anxiety, sadness, etc. you can reach out a loving hand and affect their energy with your own.  It works both ways. 



xoxo v.

5.11.2017

I'm picking up good vibrations...



 Lets have a lesson on energy.  First of all, do you know that everything is energy?  Because it is.  You, me, this coffee table, the sky, situations...it's all just a bunch of compiled energy.  And every bit of energy vibrates at a specific frequency.  Still with me?  Good.

It's really not that hard if you think about it, yet some people act like it is the most foreign concept in the world.  But, really it's simple...everything is energy and everything vibrates at a specific frequency.  That frequency is different depending on the object and frequencies (also known as vibrations or energy) that are similar are drawn to each other.

Higher vibrations feel lighter, happier, peaceful, joyful, content, open-minded, calm, loving, etc.  Lower vibrations feel heavy, depressed, angry, violent, unhappy, cynical, filled with complaints, etc.  Have you ever been around someone with low vibrations?  We all have and usually you can tell right away.  They are the "Debbie Downer", glass half empty sort of people.

No one enjoys that.  The thing is that they aren't just unfun to be around, but they actually start to lower your vibrations to match theirs.  That is, if you haven't already run out of the room as quickly as you could in order to get away from them.

Have you seen the study on the water molecules that changed based on the human emotion they are around?  I'll post it here because it is fascinating.  Water that has higher energy emotions (love, etc) were a beautiful, graceful shape.  Whereas water that was around lower energy emotion was jagged and distorted.  Our bodies are mostly made up of water...so what happens to us physically and how do we feel when we allow ourselves to stay in a lower vibrational place?  Think about it.


Above is the entire video if you choose to watch it, and below is a picture of the results of the water:



Luckily, humans have the full ability to choose their frequency.  By this I mean that it is a choice what kind of energy you want to have.  You can choose to be negative and unhealthy, or you can choose to be loving and kind.  There are also things that you can do to raise or lower your energy.

If you want to raise your energy.....
  • Listen to positive music
  • Watch positive TV shows and movies
  • Hang around positive people
  • Don't curse
  • MEDITATE! (This is the number one way to raise those vibrations!)
What will lower your energy?  You guessed it...the opposite of the suggestions already mentioned...

  • Watch scary or violent movies
  • Listen to negative, hate-filled music
  • Complain a lot
  • Use a lot of curse words 
  • Don't meditate
  • Hang around negative people
It's pretty simple math actually.  1+1=2 and all that.  It all really is our choice.  For a long time, I didn't know and so I stayed in negative relationships that really drug me down.  Now that I know better, I do better and I feel SO much lighter and happier.  I will never go back either.  Keep me where the light is.

I think I will do a small series on energy for those who are interested.  You can find the other parts in the series here:

Part two: Empaths

Part three: The law of attraction

Part four: Changing the world


xoxo v.

4.24.2017

My handsome boy...


Darren was clean-shaven
with a new haircut. 

I had a get a picture of my boy looking 
fresh for summer. 

Looking good D!


 
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