6.09.2008

The golden lasso

Today was a really good day. I was in a content and happy mood. Scott & I actually spent some time together (because we were caged into a big steel box aka our van for 8 hours). Things are sweet. The problem is that "sweet" around here in my mind actually translates to *YAWWWWWN*. We got along but it's because we didn't speak. In eight hours in the car together, I can count on my fingers just how many words were spoken between us. They weren't nasty words, my husband is actually a very sweet man 99% of the time. The problem is that he's just THERE. He doesn't do anything. He doesn't speak, carry on conversation, romance me or even make lewd sexual comments to me (as men are prone to do to their women). Nothing. Just sits in silence and stares straight ahead. *sigh*.

I know this is taking it a bit out of context, but how did a "K-K-K-KATIE" girl end up married to
a "Simple" guy? (From "The Way We Were"). I know that in the movie, Hubble dumped Katie for the simple girl because K-k-k-katie was too fiery and opinionated and full of personality, whereas in my life the Katie girl actually found a simple GUY and scooped him up! He didn't present himself as the simple guy in the beginning though. Perhaps there was some liquid confidence at play there. Just a thought.

So here's the dilemma--how in the world was I foolish enough to believe that this little golden lasso around my finger would be strong enough to rope in my desires? My opinions? Better yet, how did HE think it would be strong enough? He was the one trying to rope me in and tame me--did he really think that it would work being armed with ONLY this ring? I'm sorry, but a ring doesn't a marriage make. So if I stay, I likely won't be totally unhappy--just stagnant.

In my other blog when I said my nickname for his is "lasagna", that's referring to a conversation I had with a friend about him. She said, "Take lasagna. It's delicious in the beginning and you think it's going to be soooo good. Then you stick it in the fridge and let it sit there. You don't do anything with it, you don't make new lasagna, you never finished the first piece. Before you know it, the lasagna is moldy. Then it starts to stink up the whole fridge and all the food around it. Before long it's just easier and wiser to throw it all away and start fresh...cause if you stay with that lasagna it's not gonna be good and you'll probably end up sick." So there you go, the backstory to the moldy lasagna nickname.

The other side of the dilemma is--would there really be anyone out there that I WOULD like that would actually like me back? And I don't want to hear all the patronizing stuff like, "of course there will be! you're so awesome!" The truth of it is that I'm 35 years old with two kids almost grown and two younger ones still at home. I have a few marriages under my belt. The rest of the truth is that almost all of the good ones are either gay (they love me), married (they love me too so I've found out lol) or too young and would never touch damaged goods such as myself. Is it better to stay in an ok, but BOOOOORING marriage that you never thought you'd have in the beginning that has a lot of issues because you're afraid no one that you're compatible with would ever actually want to be with you?

Whatever. More rambling. Sorry guys! Hold on with me! This weeks almost over!!! lol :) Then you can all stop ducking and taking cover! heehee Love ya to pieces! mwah! xoxo vb

5 comments:

Trying to make lewd sexual comments Rita said...

Hey sweet bootilicious wanna go for another ride???? ..........






You can drive to Cali,,,,

Rita being too damn honest again... said...

Seriously Veronica! Let me get serious myself here. Loving the name Lasagna though...now your little bull about damaged goods, hello who's damaged goods? Not you! You're still young, 2 kids out of the house so really you only have 2. Why settle to be stagnant? Might as well be on your own alone, as it is said and written somewhere probably on someones notebook, oops anyway as it's said and written "If I wanna do bad I can do bad all by myself I don't need any help from a rotten moldy piece of lasagna", okay so I threw the last part in there.
I know how you're feeling because I watched and watched and watched the video.
We both have to face the facts that day is over, in the past, history and we can't change history we can only make our present beautiful history.
Did I babble?
oh well you get the just of it and I'm not trying to judge you or tell you what to do.
I know you'll make the best decision for all of you.
Can a sista get real though?
Would you want any of your girls to think it's okay to have this type of marriage with their husband?
I just love you like Miranda loves Charlotte.
Friends FOREVA!

Kim said...

Okay Veronica,
I know we just met, and I really don't know much about your marriage or anything, and don't want to sound like a know-it-all when I don't know much (but I know I love you.... okay, sorry, I have a habit of breaking into song, just ask Allison...)

I don't know, anyway, for what it's worth, and you can throw this lasagna advice down the disposal, but....

maybe the problem is that you never took the time to actually dig into that fresh, delicious, gooey lasagna and really give it a chance!! If you just let a relationship sit on the shelf, and not dig into it and swallow it and make you all warm and satisfied and stuff inside, you know, really enjoy each and every bite and savor it, it WILL get moldy.

Maybe you need to reheat the lasagna, so to speak.

And most important, ask the Holy Spirit to really renew your relationship. The Holy Spirit works WONDERS, and I do mean that by experience!!!

Anyway, that's just my two cents... (Why am I suddenly having a craving for Fazoli's??? ;-)

Budinski Rita liking Kim said...

Hi Kim it's Rita, I know what you're saying.
I had a piece of lasagna like Veronicas kinda the same lets just say the spices were a little spicier...
I savored, reheated & savored actually I did it a few times but only to end up in the emergency room with lasagna poisoning, cuz my lasagna was molded and diseased I finally had to throw it away.
I know you don't know Veronica that well and she probably won't tell you this but she believes in rewarming and really savoring really trying to make it edible more so than I, but how much does a girl do when the lasagna has no flavor, no spice, nothing?
I know emails have no tone so I wanted you to know I'm not knocking your comment as a matter of fact I'm craving some good pasta myself, no lasagna thank you, wish I could meet you over a pan of some...lol

Shawnda said...

Soapie only you can decide if you want to keep seasoning and reheating the lasagna until you get it just right. As much as you've shared with us none of us know all there is to know about your marriage or what's really in your heart. But, I know you must really love this man or you wouldn't still be so torn over whether to keep the "lasagna" around. I'm praying for you and for Scott. Love you :)

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