4.15.2006

How Great Thou Art

I just got done watching The Passion of the Christ. On this holiest of all weekends I sat my kids down and we watched it as a family. If you are a christian and you've never seen this movie, I strongly urge you to. Some people say that they wouldn't be able to watch the frank violence of it. I can't look at it like that. I look at it as honesty. Truth. Sad and heartbreaking...but truth. That was his story. That is my story. If not for that moment in time I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't have the purpose I have and I wouldn't have the blessed assurance that I have. It's like reading over an old blog of a painful time. I cry and sometimes I hate to read it and relive it...but it's the truth. Anyone who can watch it without crying....without silence....without it changing who they are no one that I want in my life. It's so important for me to watch that movie because it reminds me.

As I sat there with my hand over my mouth, the only sounds in the room were quiet, gentle sobs. I was so ashamed. Ashamed at how flippantly I treat my salvation. Ashamed of how I take Jesus for granted. I watched his beaten and bloodied face and my heart was torn in two. Every once in a while they show a flashback to an earlier time in his life or ministry. The contrast between the two faces was staggering.....and I know that no movie could do the real thing justice. At one point when they had flashed back Amelia said in her sweet little baby voice "Jesus is so pretty." "Yes baby, he was beautiful wasn't he?" I replied to her. And then they switched back to the crucifixion. In my heart I was crying "Oh Lord! Thank you so much for your gift of salvation! I'm so sorry for not serving you the best I can... even though I know that's not what it's about anyways. I know it is about that gift....the one I'm watching replayed right now. But I love you Lord...I love you with my entire being and I want to serve you and make you proud. Lord, right then.....when you were dying. When you were aching and in shock and bleeding and tired and weary. Right then.....did you know my name? Was it just a vague picture of 'all of mankind' could be saved...or did you know my name? Did you see my face? Did you keep going because when you thought about stopping you thought about me? Did you also see all of the times I would let you down? Thank you so much Jesus. I love you." Every step that he took under the weight of that heavy cross. Every time he was hit with the cat of nine tails. Every time the crown of thorns was beaten into his scalp. Every time they spit on his face. Every hit of the hammer he felt as they were driving in the nails....it all paid for every single careless, wreckless, selfish, sinful decision I've ever made.


Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

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