Ambulance chaser
I can count on my fingers how many times I've talked to J. since Caroline's wedding in July. We had already been broken up for about four months at that point but wedding plans are what they are come hell or high water and so we were still expected to be "partners" in the wedding. Isn't it funny that NOT ONE picture from the entire wedding of the two of us together turned out? LOL Actually, I think it was divine intervention. Don't get me wrong...I have a BLAST with J. We laugh and laugh. We wrestle. We dance. We have the best time. Or used to anyways. But that was only because we didn't talk. There were no deeper issues. There were no talks about family or religion or politics or our childhoods. It was only surface. Our relationship in a year and a half never blossomed past fifth or sixth date behavior. That wasn't the only problem though. The real problem was that he had difficulty "keeping it in his pants"...figuratively and literally.
I felt really bad at the wedding when his daughter (whom I still adore) leaned over and said quietly into my ear, "You know my dad loves you don't you? I've never seen anyone get to him like you. And he dances with you! I've never seen my dad dance...but for you he'll dance." Wow. I didn't have the heart to tell a beautiful seventeen year old girl that her dad was a commitmentphobe/skirt-chaser. I don't doubt for a minute that J. loved me...in the only way he knew how to love someone, he loved me. But it wasn't the kind of love I needed. So I had to walk away. Realizing at the wedding that he wasn't going to get me back, he left early with a pout on his face and since then he's only spoken to me a handfull of times at work. He did call me on sweetest day which I thought was nice. Every now and then he'll crawl out of his hole to hit on me, get shot down nicely and then skulk away not to be heard from for a while.
Well, all that background to lead to this....somewhere, somehow J. learned that I was unattached in the last few days. Don't ask me how because this is the ONLY place I've said anything about it. MOST people have gotten the message loud and clear that I wanted to be left alone and they respected that. I hadn't even talked to my friends about it. And I know he's a total dinosaur and computer illiterate so I know he didn't read about it himself. It's becoming obvious that there is a traitor in our midst. I don't know who you are...but you know who you are! I didn't think anyone at work even knew about my blog. Who knows. Doesn't really matter. Somehow he knew about it and decided to take this terribly sad opportunity to offer to "comfort" me. Whatever player! Answer me this...why do men think that we will never see right through them??? Why do they all think they are Rico Suave? Give me a freakin break! Offer one time...that's thoughtful. You know, "if you need anything I'm here for you." ......then let it go! If not then you come across as a damn ambulance chaser! An opportunity seeker. He called me THREE times at work last night! And every time he got shot down he became more f***ing blatant! Listen to a sample of our conversation and judge for yourself:
Hey, I heard you're having a rough time right now.
How'd you hear that?
Little birdie told me.
Well your little birdie needs to check their sources cause I'm fine.
So that means you're still seeing whats-his-name?
No, but that doesn't mean I'm not fine.
Oh you bet you're fine! That's what I've been telling you for years! You're not just fine, you're BEAUTIFUL aaaannnnnnddddd fine!!! hahahaha
Give me a break J. ... Did you call just to hit on me when you thought I was miserable?
No! I called to see how you're doing! If you need anything....because I care about you.
Well, that's very nice but I'm fine...thank you.
So you don't need any "comforting"?
(**warning...this is where all decorum was gone and "strike-back" Veronica came out**)
YOU SHADY MOTHER FUCKER...what do you think I'm going to do???? lay down and spread 'em for you and say "please make me feel better"????
Of course not!!!.....but you could if you wanted to....it's been a while for us you know!
Not a while J.! Over a year. And there are reasons for that! And if you thought I was hurting I can't believe you would call and ask me something like that! You are one tactless bastard.
I am not, I'm thinking about you! Some people work out their problems like that! hahahaha
Well then you should tell me more about that cute new guy you're working with tonight J.!
Oh hell no! He's way too young for you!
He is not, We aren't all old like you !
Oh that's nice! Besides that he's gay!
He is not!!! You're just jealous and can't stand the thought of me being with anyone else!
I'm not kidding, his boyfriend was here to visit just a little while ago!
Bullshit. He is not gay.
Okay, so he's not gay....but he is only 25 and you're how old again?
We dated for a year and a half and you don't know how old I am???
Well, those aren't the things I chose to keep track of!
Screw you. Maybe little things like that are the reason that I'm not giving you the time of day today. You can't even be bothered to know how old I am??? J., I have feelings for someone...and the last thing I want to think about right now is being "comforted" by someone else. How does hearing that turn you on???
I'll let you know. I gotta go.
Then he called me two more times to keep trying. Unbelievably shady! I HAD to vent about this because I am almost offended that he would even ask! Or offer. Or whatever the hell that was. Does he think I have no class? Does he think I'm a whore? I mean what the hell was that???
I felt really bad at the wedding when his daughter (whom I still adore) leaned over and said quietly into my ear, "You know my dad loves you don't you? I've never seen anyone get to him like you. And he dances with you! I've never seen my dad dance...but for you he'll dance." Wow. I didn't have the heart to tell a beautiful seventeen year old girl that her dad was a commitmentphobe/skirt-chaser. I don't doubt for a minute that J. loved me...in the only way he knew how to love someone, he loved me. But it wasn't the kind of love I needed. So I had to walk away. Realizing at the wedding that he wasn't going to get me back, he left early with a pout on his face and since then he's only spoken to me a handfull of times at work. He did call me on sweetest day which I thought was nice. Every now and then he'll crawl out of his hole to hit on me, get shot down nicely and then skulk away not to be heard from for a while.
Well, all that background to lead to this....somewhere, somehow J. learned that I was unattached in the last few days. Don't ask me how because this is the ONLY place I've said anything about it. MOST people have gotten the message loud and clear that I wanted to be left alone and they respected that. I hadn't even talked to my friends about it. And I know he's a total dinosaur and computer illiterate so I know he didn't read about it himself. It's becoming obvious that there is a traitor in our midst. I don't know who you are...but you know who you are! I didn't think anyone at work even knew about my blog. Who knows. Doesn't really matter. Somehow he knew about it and decided to take this terribly sad opportunity to offer to "comfort" me. Whatever player! Answer me this...why do men think that we will never see right through them??? Why do they all think they are Rico Suave? Give me a freakin break! Offer one time...that's thoughtful. You know, "if you need anything I'm here for you." ......then let it go! If not then you come across as a damn ambulance chaser! An opportunity seeker. He called me THREE times at work last night! And every time he got shot down he became more f***ing blatant! Listen to a sample of our conversation and judge for yourself:
Hey, I heard you're having a rough time right now.
How'd you hear that?
Little birdie told me.
Well your little birdie needs to check their sources cause I'm fine.
So that means you're still seeing whats-his-name?
No, but that doesn't mean I'm not fine.
Oh you bet you're fine! That's what I've been telling you for years! You're not just fine, you're BEAUTIFUL aaaannnnnnddddd fine!!! hahahaha
Give me a break J. ... Did you call just to hit on me when you thought I was miserable?
No! I called to see how you're doing! If you need anything....because I care about you.
Well, that's very nice but I'm fine...thank you.
So you don't need any "comforting"?
(**warning...this is where all decorum was gone and "strike-back" Veronica came out**)
YOU SHADY MOTHER FUCKER...what do you think I'm going to do???? lay down and spread 'em for you and say "please make me feel better"????
Of course not!!!.....but you could if you wanted to....it's been a while for us you know!
Not a while J.! Over a year. And there are reasons for that! And if you thought I was hurting I can't believe you would call and ask me something like that! You are one tactless bastard.
I am not, I'm thinking about you! Some people work out their problems like that! hahahaha
Well then you should tell me more about that cute new guy you're working with tonight J.!
Oh hell no! He's way too young for you!
He is not, We aren't all old like you !
Oh that's nice! Besides that he's gay!
He is not!!! You're just jealous and can't stand the thought of me being with anyone else!
I'm not kidding, his boyfriend was here to visit just a little while ago!
Bullshit. He is not gay.
Okay, so he's not gay....but he is only 25 and you're how old again?
We dated for a year and a half and you don't know how old I am???
Well, those aren't the things I chose to keep track of!
Screw you. Maybe little things like that are the reason that I'm not giving you the time of day today. You can't even be bothered to know how old I am??? J., I have feelings for someone...and the last thing I want to think about right now is being "comforted" by someone else. How does hearing that turn you on???
I'll let you know. I gotta go.
Then he called me two more times to keep trying. Unbelievably shady! I HAD to vent about this because I am almost offended that he would even ask! Or offer. Or whatever the hell that was. Does he think I have no class? Does he think I'm a whore? I mean what the hell was that???
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