9.20.2009

This is a group participation post....

Okay guys, here's where I am today.
First, a little back story for all of my newbies.

In 2002, I found out that my second husband,
father of my third & fourth children,
who had been abusive & nasty to me for nearly ten years,
had been hurting my oldest daughter.

He has been in prison for it ever since,
and is set to get out in December, 2011.
He was also declared a sexual predator,
which means he'll have to register for the rest of his life.

The goal had always been to move far away
and change our last names before he got out
so that it would be more difficult to find us,
so that he would not be able to bother us
or hurt my girls.

So recently,
we accomplished the first part of our plan.
We are here in "New Town"
and living our lives.

The thing is, today for some inexplicable reason,
the desire to give it all up and begin living 100% honestly
no matter what
has come upon me.
I'm feeling like even if I don't let him know exactly where we are,
that I don't have to live locked down like fort knox,
because to live under fear is a bigger prison and punishment
than what he can do to us.
I've only been here for a little over three months
and I'm already tired of living like this.
Do I want to live like this forever?
Just because I'm afraid that
this monster MIGHT come bother us?

If I acknowledge it, release it and then just live in integrity
and strength, knowing that if he ever showed up
I would have to simply and strongly handle him,
would that be a wise thing to do?
Or really stupid?

This is where the group participation comes in....
let me know what you think about this.
PLEASE.
Be as frank as you like.
Email me privately if you like.
Just give me some fresh perspective.
Ready, set, go.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That is a tough decision to have to make. I understand both sides of it though......not wanting to be found out, but wanting to be part of the world. I think you should talk it over with the ones that would be affected the most (your girls) and pray hard about what will be the best for everyone at this time.

I know, not much help ;-)

Love you, Mom

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