I always feel like somebody's watchin' meeeeee
I hate this time of night. It's five o'clock in the morning and I am still wide awake. This isn't necessarily anything new for me--I've suffered from insomnia for most of my adult life, but it had seemed to resolve for a while recently. The other night I came to a realization why and I don't like it. I think it all boils down to the fact that I don't feel safe in this house. We are in a decent area, but it is on the very edge of the decent area, edging towards the not so decent area. Know what I mean? It's also a very busy street with a bar down on the corner. We only have neighbors on one side and the other sides are totally exposed. I just feel so vulnerable here and it keeps me up at night, almost like I have to keep watch. I've been laying in bed forever it seems and my body won't even think about sleeping, but I know that soon Scott will be getting up for the day (he's an early riser) and as soon as he does, BOOM! I'll be out for the count. I hate feeling paranoid like this and don't like feeling uncomfortable in my own skin so I know that unfortunatley, our time in this charming little house with the good rent is probably limited. Hopefully I'll find a way to have some peace until then though.