Almost Happy Birthday

Fat & sassy ;) (2/3/06):

okay, I'm prefacing this post with the following statement.... WARNING!!! AMBIEN ON BOARD hahahahaha Yes, I'm sleepy blogging and we all know how dangerous and ENTIRELY too honest I get when my sleeping pill is kicking in. It's like truth serum for me and I have total amnesia in the morning! heehee I bet tomorrow I will read this and think HOLY CRAP! What the heck did I write??? Just like a month or so when I announced to the world that my life would be all better if I just got laid! I had totally signed off of the computer when I took my Ambien in order to protect myself from sleepy shopping, chatting or blogging (LOL) but when the thought strikes I have to get up and following through. I don't have much capacity to sleepy-tell-myself-no! lol

So with that being said, I was sitting here watching the Isaac Mizrahi show (another guilty pleasure) and scarfing down some Krispy Kreme crullers (HELLO! YUMMMM!) and at first I was thinking "bad prednisone! I just can't put the food down today! No appetite for a week and now look out! I'm gonna gain like 70 more pounds!". And then you know what??? As is typical when I'm stoned on sleeping pills my true self looks at my politically-correct/care what people think self and says "You ain't got to liiiiiiiiiieeee Craig" (I'll be able to tell who the "Friday" fans are from that comment). Truth is this..... My weight will ebb and flow, wax and wane just like my health, mood, bank account, etc. And although I want to feel a little better overall, I don't like myself any less when I've gained a little weight than I do when I'm down a little on the scale! I figure that not only does the FOOD (calories, fat, etc.) affect your health, but so does the way you LOOK at your food and feel about it when you eat it. If you're eating something and the whole time you're sitting there thinking "i'm so bad, this is so bad, bad, bad, bad,bad" then you change something chemically in your body. Something will turn against itself. Your metabolism will change. Etc. So if I'm going to eat something I'm going to love every single fattening & delicious moment of it!!! I'm not going to spend another minute listening to the world tell me I should hate myself or be unhappy about my body! There will be times when I'm eating as I should and I'm exercising as I should and I'm looking as I should (for the most part anyways) and that will be great. But when I have a little extra cushion... so what! I'm gonna love it! I'm gonna be fat & happy & sassy! My body is WONDERFUL! My body has carried me through every struggle and overcame! I have given birth to four healthy and perfect babies. I have made love and I have made war in this body. It is a wonderful, soft, curvy, fleshy, feminine, sexy piece of artwork handcrafted by God himself and I'm going to love and appreciate the skin I'm in no matter where I fall on the spectrum on any given day!

p.s.... I'm still totally supporting all of the people who are working their butts off (literally!) to get healthier.... you are doing an amazing job! Go you! :)


Allison said…
Sigh. And I still need to work more of my butt off...
Kim said…
Oh, how I can relate to middle-of-the night sleepy blogging.... Most of my blogs I've written in the middle of the night when I can't sleep.... sometimes the next day I wonder HOW in the world did I come up with such a weird blog and I delete or change it.... but yours are really fun to read! You are beautiful as you are, because you are YOU - God's special creation. Even though we all could use less buttage (yes, even me -- some of you haven't seen me in awhile and would be interested to know I weigh more than I have in 14 years! It just keeps piling on and on and on.... not to say I didn't need to gain some, but enough is enough!!).... okay, now I'M sleepy blogging and need to shut up. Maybe I'll go over to Allison's blog, which I haven't been on in ages, and sleepblog and maybe embaress both myself and her. Here I come, ready or not!!! Heee heee heeeeeeee!