Dear Goldschlager, drop dead

Oh, where to even begin??? I'm sitting here shaking my head and laughing at myself because man oh man did I make a mess of things last night! Okay, a little back-story first.

I went up north on Friday to see Darren for Christmas, to let Courtney see her dad for her birthday and to attend our family Christmas party on Saturday. Things were going smoothly...traffic not bad, checked into hotel, all the necessary running around complete, settled into the hotel, kids swimming, slept great, etc. Went to family party, had a nice (benign) time. (Accidentally) vented at my mom about family garbage later (thanks Mom...I got over it pretty quickly like I usually do). I'm thinking I'm ready to pack up and go home when my cousin Michelle and her husband Dewey convince me to stay the night at their house and continue the "REAL" family Christmas party with a few people who were staying over to drink and sing karaoke. After a little convincing (I didn't have any kids with me at this point), I said yes.

BIG MISTAKE. See, I'm not normally a drinker. Oh, maybe once or twice a year I might have A (read: singular) drink, but really I can count on my fingers how many times in my life I've been drunkety-drunk-drunk-drunk. Because of this, I have a somewhat low tolerance and usually feel it pretty quick and don't have to drink much. WELL... (laughing at myself again because I can't believe how stupid I am)....

Michelle says, "Dewey wants you in the basement to do some shots with him." As we all sit around shooting the breeze and doing a few shots of Goldschlager (a cinnamon schnapps with gold flakes floating in it-- you know, the stuff from the movie "superbad"? "chicki-chicki-yeah,yeah"), I comment to Michelle what a wimp she is because she's doing these itty-bitty shots and I can't feel any effects whatsoever. She says, "just wait till you stand up--you'll see who was smarter" and her wonderful husband continues to fill my shot glass--and I'm dumb enough to keep knocking them back with him. It happened over such a lenght of time that it wasn't obvious to me how many we had done because we had been talking and laughing, then as the drinks started kicking in we even started crying together, then laughing some more....I had no clue how many until I heard Michelle return to the basement after leaving to do some karaoke. "YOU'RE STILL GIVING HER SHOTS??? DEWEY, WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING???" And yep...I am absolutely SCHNOCKERED. He (and much of the rest of my family) thought it was hillarious (and so did the people I drunk dialed), but my stomach and his toilet didn't think it was so funny.

My husband called right before I got sick and within seconds he said, "are you DRUNK???" I said, "jush a lil bit." He asked, "what the heck are you drinking that has you THIS hammered?" "I'm not sure...shome shtuff that hash gold floating around in it." He immediately starts laughing and saying, "oh no!!!" I ask if that's bad and he just laughs and says, "uh huh." I then call Allison and continue to tell her, Shawnda & Heather (they were visiting) just how pretty and smart they all are and how much I love them. Thank God, gmail has "mail goggles", which is an application that prevents you from sending email after a certain hour unless you can answer a series of math questions, or else I may have drunk-mailed a bunch of people too!

I ended up sick as a dog with Michelle telling Dewey, "this was YOUR sit here with her and make sure she's okay." Bless his heart, he even knocked on the bathroom door and asked if I needed him to hold my hair back. lol He and my cousin Ken got me into bed, where I layed for a good few hours with Dewey talking to me about everything under the sun. I just kept laughing and telling him really stupid stuff that I'm sure I'm better off not remembering most of anyways.

Ken came upstairs a few times to check on me and asked me if anything was spinning yet and when I confirmed that everything was, he told me I wasn't allowed to go to sleep, that I needed to get up and try to shake it off now or I would be sorry in the morning. So, eventually I felt better enough to go downstairs and sing karaoke with Michelle for another two hours or so.

Eventually, I crawled into bed after taking two Tyelenol, a phenergan (for nausea), a protonix (for acid) and drinking a ton of water. As I drifted off into a nauseous, spinning sleep I quietly thought to myself, "this is NOT going to be good." Surprisingly enough, I woke up this morning relatively unscathed. No headache, no sicky-icky hangover. I felt no different than any other morning. The only difference between this and any other morning is that I now had to do the walk of shame down the stairs to see my waiting family gathered around the breakfast table.

I have to say, at least something good came of this travesty. Before the evening started, I was pretty irritated with my family and really didn't want much to do with them for a while. After the party, that's all healed because as strange as it sounds, I connected with many of them last night and it healed a lot of things. When the puke hit the toilet, my family was there to hold my hair back and get my butt into bed...and there to laugh at me in the morning. They took care of me and that's more than I get from most of them...well, ever. Sad that it had to come to that and I definitely won't be conducting that experiment again any time soon, but it's still nice to know.


DJ's Mama said…
That is really cool that Gmail has that safety measure for emailing.. :)

I'm glad that you are doing ok... and that you were able to enjoy yourself and hang out with your family and see how they protected you. And maybe after all you have been through lately, you just needed the drinks.. :) :)
girrrrrl... have i ever been there!
those shots sneak up on you BIG time!
i must admit... i am a recovering drunk dialer! :) i would try to think of anyone & everyone i could call!

hope your feeling better! those kind of nights take some time!

Gail said…
That's what family is for...glad you survived!
Allison said…
Ha! Glad that things worked out better than you thought they would....and you had a good time and now you "love your family soooooooo much!!!"