12.30.2008

All things V

Sitting on the couch in the dark. Scott is in bed, so the tv noise that seems to be a constant in this house is now silenced. I was enjoying the silence, but happened to click on the "last fm" box in my sidebar and it took me to my profile. After I saw all the music listed there and a compilation of artists that I am most likely to enjoy, I smiled thinking "yep, that sums me up." So now, I am sitting here enjoying the silky smooth voice of Norah Jones serenading me into the final hours of my night.

My birthday is officially one week away. The big 3-6! I know that's not that bad, but when you still see yourself as the big 1-6, then naturally you can see where the dilemma comes in. I've decided that for the next week I'm going to spend some time reflecting and pondering about the woman I have become. What makes me me? What makes me tick? What have I learned? I haven't thought it out enough yet to know just what form this will take or if it will have any order whatsoever. Maybe I'll just throw random lists out there as they occur to me. I'll have to sleep on it, I suppose.

For tonight, I'm going to throw some random things that I've learned about myself and the world out there for the universe to enjoy.

  • I always wait too long to quit a bad job or end a bad relationship. I always have hope that any minute now it's going to be better if I have faith and are there for them. Why I have this unfailing loyalty to such undeserving situations is beyond me.
  • It's almost never worth it to try and save an alcoholic or person with severe mental illness. I just don't have the strength anymore to fight other people's demons.
  • The boy who tells you you're sexy when you talk about something smart is worth a million other boys.
  • As Frederick Douglas said, "It's easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." Amen.
  • The only person you have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself.
  • Don't ask questions that you really don't want the answers to.
  • I get very quiet when I'm hurt or nervous.
  • Crunchy is pretty much a necessary texture. I can't stand anything soggy or mushy.
  • Light sauce--on EVERYTHING (meaning light jelly, light ketchup, etc.) It all goes back to the soggy/mushy thing.
  • I was flirted with recently and even told I was pretty and it felt really good. It's been a long time since I was flirted with by anyone that meant something to me or that I actually wanted to flirt with me. Everyone needs a mojo check once in a while.
  • I believe there are soul mates and there are love mates. Soul mates are those who you seem to have an instant connection to that never seems to go away (even if you don't get to be with that person or even if they're just a friend). You teach each other lessons. Love mates are those that you choose to love and have in your life.
  • I'm afraid of dogs.
  • I'm such a homebody it isn't funny.
  • I am a horrible singer! But that makes it even funnier to watch me karaoke.
  • I've never lived alone once in my whole life.
  • My short-term memory stinks, but my long-term memory is amazing. I can remember book/chapter/verse of events.
  • I'm bad at finishing what I start. I think it's because I tend to feel very passionately about things and pour myself into them...and then get tired. I've gotta learn to pace myself more, but that's so hard when you enjoy what you're doing.
  • In men, I'm drawn to virgos and scorpios. I don't do well with aquarius or sagittarius. My husband is none of the above--go figure.

2 comments:

Gail said...

Happy New Year!

Allison said...

I always seem to be reflecting on these kinds of things when my birthday comes around too. I think it's good to do a yearly inner check up and make some changes where it's necessary. Praying that your reflection time is healing for you....

Happy Early Birthday!!

P.S. And my puppies love you. =]

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