Be humble or be humbled

There has been nothing more surprising to me than the fact that I tend to receive a lot of email and have even gotten some blog followers who thank me for my writing in general, but even more specifically, sometimes they thank me for writing about bipolar disorder.  This never fails to shock me into silence.

Why?  Because when I check out their blogs or sites, often I find that these wonderful people are sufferers of the disease and I feel that because of the horrific experiences I have gone through in the past few years dealing with the wasband, I have not been in even the smallest way been gracious about this disease.  Then I read their stories and I look at their pictures and I hear their prayers...and it humbles me in monumental ways that they would take the time to read about my life.  It always brings my focus back to the fact that not everyone is like him.  There are so many wonderful, beautiful, interesting, productive, loving people who are struggling day-to-day and they aren't self-destructive, parasitic monsters.  It's a learning experience for me to remember to separate the disease from the person.

Truth be told, I have had several important people in my life who have bipolar disorder.  Many of them, you wouldn't even know had it unless they told you.  Sometimes I forget that and I tend to lump everyone with the label "bipolar" into a group that should simply be labeled "Scott B." instead.  I think I was just so wounded from that whole ordeal that I have post-traumatic-scott-disorder and I am skiddish around most people I don't know and have them diagnosed in my mind within minutes of meeting them.  I already have them labeled and can list ten different ways they can and probably will be hurting me.

I need to be healed from that.

And I think God is actively making that happen by sending people my way who are beautiful and loving...and bipolar.

Thank you to every person who has touched my life in a positive way who fits this blog...whether friend, family, lover or blog buddy.  Thank you for taking an interest in my life and not judging me by my pain.  You're awesome.

♥ veronica