Insomnia no. 4829073

As much grief as Rita is giving herself about not being able to quit smoking cold turkey, I'm giving myself that much grief about not being able to sleep at night. I get it. I have been laying there for HOURS and nothing. nada. zip.

Today is now officially Scott's birthday and I wanted so bad to get up with him bright and early, go to his doctors appointment with him and then maybe grab some lunch together before I had to head for work. I also looked at this as my golden opportunity to get the sleeping thing on schedule. I figured I'd have good incentive to go to bed early and also get up early, and that would set me on a straight path to sleepy nocturnal redemption. NOT.

I went to bed shortly after 1:30 (for me that's like NOON) and proceeded to lay there until 4 am when the worlds most annoying cat decided to ruin my carpet some more by clawing at it to try and get under my bedroom door. I finally got so mad at her that I flung the door open and smacked her butt, which only seemed to catapult her INTO my room instead of away from. After chasing her butt around my bedroom in the dark for what seemed like EVER and successfully waking up my husband, I finally caught her and shut her tail in the bathroom. She is now successfully pissing me off by clawing at the door and banging against it hoping it will open.
What the heck was I thinking by getting a cat? Seriously! When am I going to learn that I am NOT cut out for pets? I have no patience or tolerance for this crap! I've had four children and can hardly stand them sometimes! This is like taking on a whole other child! I am my own worst enemy--I never learn! Cats, men...doesn't matter. I always think it will turn out different next time. I'm too much of a nurturer for my own good. I think my problem is that I'm a situation-specific nurturer. I'm one of those it sounds good at the time but now I'm totally over it and don't want to do this anymore type of nurturers...and that kind of sucks. No, that totally sucks.

So here I am at 4:41 in the morning beating myself up about being so abnormal that I can't even sleep like a normal person. Isn't that the very first, most fundamental thing that we do in life? Eat, sleep and go to the bathroom. I guess that Meatloaf song about "two outta three ain't bad" should be my life's theme song. Somebody please feel sorry for me. Thanks.


Allison said…
I do feel so bad for you you, Soapie! It's got to be beyond frustrating day after day after day not being able to sleep....especially when you actually go to bed and try, but just lay there wide awake! I've had moments like that, but not days on end like I can only imagine how irritatingly frustrating it is!! I'm sorry, Soap...

And as for Daphne, I think she just wants to be with you. For whatever reason, she has attached herself to you and your girls and she wants to be with you. Have you ever thought of just giving in and letting her sleep with you in your room? (Or would that bother your allergies?) Tiffany used to do that too when my bedroom door was closed all because she just wanted to sleep at the bottom of my bed.