8.28.2009

Revisited: A love letter of memory from 4/19/06

Because you've been on my mind lately.......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Pepe,

"You moved like honey in my dream last night. Yeah, some old fires were burning.
You came near to me and you endeared to me. You’ll remember me like a melody
Yeah, I’ll haunt the world inside you. And my big secret - gonna win you over.
Slow like honey, heavy with mood. I’ll let you see me, I’ll covet your regard.
I’ll invade your demeanor. And you’ll yield to me like a scent in the breeze.
And you’ll wonder what it is about me. It’s my big secret - keeping you coming.
Slow like honey, heavy with mood."

I dreamed of the last time I had you. We made love so full of emotion we both cried. Your dark hair, my dark hair intertwined like our legs, arms and lips. Surrounded by candlelight you looked so beautiful and handsome. Your face...I always miss touching your face so much...and my love in the candlelight you were a vision to hold onto. I left you naked and sleeping and slipped away into the snow. I knew I'd never see you again.

I dreamed of the first time I had you. Fresh morning light. Ugly green flannel and nursing whites. The skin underneath of them knew before we did that this was bigger than the two of us. We were destined to collide....and collide we did. Tasting, kissing, loving for hours on end. It far surpassed your first fantasy of me: Full body press and passionate first kiss against the wall in the hallway leading to the gym. Little did we know the journey we were about to take.

I dreamed of the time I had you when commitment was new. A glorious night in Tremont and we were both very inebriated to say the least. You let it slip that you had slept with Kim once and it hurt my feelings so bad that I cried. Right there on the bar at Edisons. You helped me downstairs to the restroom and had such an empassioned kiss right there against the basement wall....you kissed away my tears and you vowed to me that you would never be with Kim again. That you were getting divorced and you swore it was over....and it was just you me and Hawaii baby. We went home and made love on your couch and then you sat behind me in the tub and shampooed my hair and bathed me....so romantic.

I've dreamed of you many times. Each time is just pure sweetness. I can never be with you again...but I love you. You are my friend...my lover. We made plans. We shared time. We shared our souls for a little while. Do you still have the bull behind you? :) I hope so. I hope always. No matter where you live or how old you get....always have the bull behind you babe.

I love inside stories and jokes. Secrets. I don't like that we have to be a secret now or ever. What we had was too big to be dumbed-down to fix into a little box for secrets. It was too special. Too beautiful. Too big. Let me cross your mind every now and then. Sit on the shores of love and just let it go. Think of my hands touching you. My breasts. Our lips. The smell of my Tresor...you always loved that scent. Every now and then.

~Lola

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