An experienced nurse

For those of you who don't know yet, I started my new job today and am THRILLED about it!!! I have to orient for two weeks on dayshift (blah!) then I start working 3-11:30, three times per week.

I'm going to be an "admission facilitator" which means I go wherever an admission is coming into the hospital, or to the emergency room and do the admission paperwork/take medical histories. Not bad at all! I also have to cover the outpatient clinic and am orienting there right now. They do all the outpatient procedures like give chemotherapy, blood transfusions, antibiotics, put in central lines, etc. Still not a bad deal. I feel so blessed to have been given this job and am so grateful for it! As a tribute to my wonderful profession of nursing I thought I would post something I read that might sound horrible, but is oh so true! :)

*A graduate nurse throws up when the patient does. An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.

*A graduate nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can't read it. An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.

*A graduate nurse charts too much. An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.

*A graduate nurse loves to run to codes. An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.

*A graduate nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse. An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.

*A graduate nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad. An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.

*A graduate nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient. An experienced nurse will chart the patient is confused and restrain them.

*A graduate nurse can hear a beeping iv pump at 50 yards. An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.

*A graduate nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds. An experienced nurse doesn't want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

*A graduate nurse spends two hours giving the patient a bath. An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.

*A graduate nurse thinks people respect nurses. An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

*A graduate nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it. An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

*A graduate nurse looks for a chance to "work with the family". An experienced nurse avoids the family.

*A graduate nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time. An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

*A graduate nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient. An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

*A graduate nurse always answers their phone. An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

*A graduate nurse thinks psych patients are interesting. An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

*A graduate nurse carries reference books in their bag. An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch and something for a headache.

*A graduate nurse doesn't find this funny. An experienced nurse does.

"The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off-duty."