11.14.2005

Another weekend over

Ahhhh, another weekend is finally over. This weekend seemed really hard! I even had to take a break last night and go lay down for an hour.... I haven't done that in years. I wonder if I'm coming down with something or if it was just particularly trying.

I had a ton of "bell ringers".... people who for one reason or another constantly ring their call bells. So you can't really get anything done because as soon as you start to do something, on comes the call light. That in and of itself isn't bad... but when they do it 40 or 50 times in a shift and don't really need anything it gets pretty irritating. So I had a couple of those, I had two older gentleman who WOULD NOT stay in bed so their alarms were going off all night long and you'd have to jump out of your seat and take off bolting down the hall to make sure they weren't going to fall and break a hip or something. Then on Saturday I had a man who was actively dying and it seems that no one had been totally honest with the son...he still seemed hopeful that he was going to "pull out of it". Well, I knew within a matter of hours that he would be gone and so I had to be the one to break it to the son. Very emotional. Ministered to him all night long. You get the picture. I had ten patients who were not easy to handle this weekend. Sometimes they aren't so bad, sometimes (like this weekend) it takes everything you have. It saps your spirit so hard that you almost crawl home like you've come out of a battle. Nursing is a profession that you give so much of yourself (if you're doing it properly that is) that sometimes you don't have a whole lot left for yourself at the end of the day. You can go through every single emotion in one shift. You can be so aggrevated with someone in this room. Cry, mourn and pray with the people in the next room. Rejoice over good news for the next patient. It's that roller coaster I was talking about yesterday....and it happens all in twelve hours. I think that's why on Mondays I'm pretty much useless. God has to pretty much remove me from life for a little while to refill my cup. But you know what? I wouldn't do anything different even if I could. I can't imagine not being able to be a nurse any more. It is one of the biggest and most cherished blessings in my life. I am so proud to be a nurse and know that someones life is just a little bit better today because of the parts of myself that I invested in them last night.

I've heard it said that "most people don't truly understand what nursing is until they experience it as a patient." Some people still don't get it even after being a patient.... but most people do. They have very grateful and humble hearts and that makes it all worthwhile to me...because I have a very grateful and humble heart for the ability and honor to take care of them when they are the sickest and at their most vulnerable. What a ministry God has allowed me to have!!!

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