My one day off


And it was great.
I woke up and figured it was about noon. 
I peeked open one eye and looked at the alarm clock.
Nope.  It was almost six o'clock in the evening.
SIX!
I Asked the kids why they didn't wake me up and they just kind of shrugged their
shoulders like "iounno".
We had plans!  We were going to put up the Christmas tree and rearrange the furniture.
I have to work all weekend and so this will be the only chance for several days to make this happen.
Oh well, guess I got to sit and chill instead.
That's not completely true.
I ended up getting in a major fight with two of my girls
(the oldest two in case you were wondering).
Nothing really new,
just the same old shit that I am so tired of dealing with and am like,
REALLY?  We are STILL doing this???
Lying, being devious, hanging around people or situations that are OBVIOUSLY bad
and then again, LYING to mom about it.  Get SO old and now Courtney is passing on the legacy
to her younger sister.  Thanks.
It got ugly.  Lots of yelling and defiance.
Phones got taken away and kids got sent to their rooms.
Even in that Courtney tried to be defiant.
She was mad that I took her phone so she continued to yell at me and
then refused to shut her bedroom door because i wanted it shut.
Just overall DRAMA.
I HATE DRAMA.
SOSOSOSOSO MUCH.
I want peace.
I her to know that I love her and to let that be enough.
I want her to realize that the words she keeps screaming at me...
"I'm almost 18!!!" are very true and that she should cherish every little bit of this we have left
just like I do.  I want her to behave and love me.
I want her to appreciate the very vulnerable, impressionable gifts that are her little sisters,
and treat them as such.
I just want a normal, peaceful, happy, joyful, well-adjusted, well-rounded, healthy family.
Not a constant struggle that pulls down my self-esteem with every encounter.




xoxo
♥ veronica

Comments

Patricia said…
Girl, what you said about Courtney shouting she's almost 18 and savoring every last minute of it is so true.

Unfortunately, 17-year-old girls don't know that. Until 10 or 20 years later, when it dawns on them that their own children are growing up waaaaay too fast.