11.15.2009

Four leaf clover


This is my last night of work before a whole two days off.
It's going good.
But I'm tired.
More than anything my kids have been stressing me out lately.
I mean SUPER, MAJOR stressing out.
For example,
I tried to get groceries (because my fridge is EMPTY)
and couldn't.  Know why?
Turns out my lovely daughter has spent $310 at the GROCERY STORE
in the past week on NOTHING in particular.
Just a lot of nothing.
And then on top of work and everything,
her new boyfriend arrives on a bus from the Air Force Base.
Yeah, good times.
He is actually a very nice young man,
but I made sure his happy butt was good
& parked in a motel before heading to work.
(I know, I know.  Please don't say it.  You'll only add to my mountain of stress.)

He left to go back today.
THANK GOD.
Now I can go to work in peace.
And start to believe that things are going to start calming down.

I feel like I've been living constantly on that constant adrenaline that
I was so used to a few years ago
and I DON'T like it.
Between personal trauma, swine flu, finances, work,K-I-D-S, etc,
I feel like my head is about to explode.
Something HAS to give soon.
It has to.
God won't give me more than I can handle,
so something HAS to give soon.
So I trust that it will.
I'm holding onto my four leaf clover
and smiling because I know that tomorrow will be better
and then better and better and better.

**UPDATE**

Madelaine just texted me at work
to tell me that she has started throwing up again.
*blank stare*


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