Life flashing before my eyes

I'm super stoked to tell you all that I'm now back home and the doppler was negative for DVT (clot). You all have NO IDEA how relieved I was!!!

After finding out that I needed to get to the hospital and seeing the word "STAT" circled in red on the paper, my veneer started to crack a little bit. Then, when I found myself racing around to get Courtney to work and get the little ones something to eat before I took them to the hospital with me, I heard myself saying to a friend, "I don't have time for this..." and then I lost it. There was a dear family friend who had found herself in the same situation in her 30's and said something very similar to my mom on her way to the hospital...and she never came home. So the reality was all too vivid to me and I was outwardly trying to hold it together as I was typing my meltdown into my phone to a friend.

I started having major life flash before my eyes moments. I realized a lot of things, many of which are better left unsaid, but the least of which were that I haven't updated my will in at least five years and my life insurance doesn't kick in until the first. So until I do get it updated, I'm putting here as publicly and mine as it can get that Maddie and Amelia can either go with my mom or Allison (whichever would like to or feels most up to raising them). Courtney is only months away from being an adult (sniff), so she could probably go with her dad or stay with the little girls. Darren can stay with his dad. As long as none of them EVER end up with the evil one or ANY of his family and as long as Scott doesn't get his pathetic hands on even one penny or belonging of mine. Maybe the wedding pictures....he can have some of those to remind him of how good he could've had it. Other than that, NOTHING. *sigh* okay, enough with that sadness. :(

When the ultrasound tech let me off the hook and told me that she didn't see any clots or distended vessells, I was so relieved I almost squeeled out loud. :) Now, I am just very aware of how blessed I am. You're stuck with me for at least one more day bitches!!

Comments

Wow. I didn't realize you were going through such a scary thing! I'm so glad everything seems to be okay!!
Love you! Keep us posted! praying for you!