I'd rather have someone who makes my heart go pitter-pat drunk dial me

I am being pursued & wooed. Two things that I absolutely adore. I never dreamed that my feelings about this would be person-specific. In fact, I was quite sure that I would always love this kind of a mojo check regardless of from whence it came. But alas, I have discovered that although I can't deny it is giving me some joy, it's not the normal "high" that I would normally get from it...because it's not coming from the person I want it to come from (that elusive mystery man who's name I refuse to reveal....NO, I still don't want to say because I still firmly believe that someday it will be and I don't want to jynx it).

So who's doing the wooing? He's an ex. Anyone who knows much about me and remembers some of my ex's from the CHP days will know who it is. He was SOOOOO wrong for me and I often got teased that he was old enough to be my father. I guess he was...if he had me young and in high school maybe. He is the polar opposite of my taste and of what is right for me, but yet I have fun with him. I think because I don't even jokingly pretend that there would ever be a future with him, so he's safe to just enjoy. But he has decided to come back with a vengeance.

He calls, he texts, he calls some more. He compliments and flatters. Of course, he isn't telling me anything I don't already know. Yes, I know I'm amazing. Yes, I know I have the most beautiful voice you've ever heard and that I'm so pretty and a great mom and I'm so smart and that I am hillarious and always make you laugh. You're right---I'm fantastic! ;) I have to admit that it feels good, but it's empty to me. My heart is kind of repelling it like it's coated in teflon. I think about him and I think... ehhhh. Yeah, if he were closer I'd probably give him the time of day, but not for anything serious. He would just be a time filler. How ironic that I think that's what I was to him all those years ago.

Oh well, it's always nice to be flirted with. But I guess I'm just a picky bitch that I want it to be from someone that I really click with. Someone who gets my sense of humor and makes me laugh in return. Someone who makes my heart skip a beat when they gaze at me and smile. Or stroke my hair. Or drunk dial me all buzzy to confess their true feelings and thoughts about me (yes, as awful as that sounds, it can actually come across as charming from the right person lol. Drunk words are sober thoughts after all). I guess I just have to settle for what's being aimed at me right now, huh?


Unknown said…
Drunk words are sober thoughts... So true!