9.01.2010

Wooing her heart

Tonight, I took a few moments to catch
up on one of my favorite blogs,

I always come away from here with my heart stirred,
and tonight was no different.

I've been struggling lately with my Madelaine.
She's growing.
She thinks she's much more grown than she is.

As usual, when one of my little ducks falls out of line,
I go into lock-down mode.
I ground them and take away all access to the outside world.
I'm not saying that this is always the right way,
I'm merely saying it's the way it happens.

It's almost like I go into panic mode
and because I don't know anything different to do,
I don't do anything.
I don't know the answers,
so locking her away where I know she's safe
and has no outside influence
seems great to me.

All of this brings me back to how I've been struggling with her.
This is the first major grounding she's had,
and I just haven't felt like it's the right thing to do with her.
With her, I feel that she actually has a teachable spirit
and that it would be of use to try and pull on her heart strings and teach her.

See, Courtney was just stubborn.
Maddie is more tender-hearted.

So as I was reading on this other blog tonight,
she had a post talking about "locking horns"
with her teenager.
These are some of the things that she had to say
that shook my jug....

"Each child came to us directly from the presence of God
and a parent's daily work is to lead the child
back from whence she came --- back into the presence of God."

"Is my work as a parent less about directing
and more about being a friend who's a spiritual director?
It's our tender love that woos them back to His."

"We endeavor to make our parenting more hospitable to soul growth"

"There is a time to be silent and a time to speak
and we must pray to know the order of things"

This seems like a direct answer to
the prayers I've been whispering.
Seeking direction as to what to do with her
to lead her in a better direction than simply
using brute force to bend her to my will.

I know it sounds simple enough to say,
"give her good advice, lead her in the right direction..."
I mean, DUH.

But really, I think the best path with this particular child
is to be stern but merciful.

Where mercy is shown, mercy is given.

And how many times have I needed to be shown mercy in my life?
Oh so many.

So I think tomorrow sets out on a new path with her.
A new chapter and some new experiments.

Does it sound horrible to say that I just hope
she doesn't act stupid or piss me off before I have a chance
to put all of this into motion and make me change my mind?

Teenagers.  Ugh.

xoxo veronica

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