10.19.2009

Tell me how I'm s'posed to breathe with no air....



Have you ever had moments when you just feel like checking out of life?
Like you want to cocoon under the blankets and never answer the phone or door again?
Well, that's been my life for the past week.
What was upright has now been turned over in just about every area.
I'm stressed and I'm sad.
I'm just barely hanging on.
You know how babies hold their breath when the wind blows in their faces?

That's me right now....
a baby in a windstorm.

I'm just trying to figure out moment by moment how to breathe.
My air has been taken away it seems.

But I'm still here.

Maybe someday I'll have the courage to tell my whole story.
But for now, it's mine.
I find myself holding onto it like a fragile and precious heirloom,
afraid to let anyone near it.
I want to protect it and preserve it....
because it really is a lovely story.
A tragic, but beautiful story,
just like all the best ones tend to be.

It's funny how I just told someone the other day
that I felt like Juliet
while looking down at him from my balcony.
How ironic.

O Romeo, Romeo...wherefore art thou Romeo?


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