12.23.2005

Silent Night, Holy Night

It's now officially Christmas Eve. I'm sitting here in the middle of the night having just finished wrapping gifts (which I HATE doing! lol) and I'm loving the silence. All I can hear is the furnace running.

As I was sitting here the song "Silent Night" started running through my head. You know how it goes... "Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright." And I'm feeling convicted. This has been anything but a silent night...and anything but calm. Actually as nights go around here it wasn't too bad. There wasn't much fighting, hardly any raising of voices, etc. But I'm talking internally. And even verbally. I think we all at one point or another are guilty of turning one of the holiest of all holy days for Christians into a commercialized, busy, clamorous holiday that is full of plenty of complaining. Too much to do, to much money spent, wrapping gifts, shopping, stores are crowded, traffic is horrible, have to make a huge dinner, Christmas cards to fill out AND mail, kids are so ungrateful.....blah, blah, blah. I feel like we're living out the song "The 12 pains of Christmas" sometimes! lol You guys know the song right? Here's the lyrics...the song cracks me up....because it's so true! haha Although the written lyrics don't do it justice without the funny voices to go with it!!!

The first thing at Christmas, That's such a pain to me: Is finding a Christmas tree. The second thing at Christmas, That's such a pain to me: Rigging up the lights. And finding a Christmas tree. The third thing at Christmas That's such a pain to me: Hangovers. Rigging up the lights. And finding a Christmas tree. The fourth thing at Christmas, That's such a pain to me: Sending Christmas cards. Hangovers. Rigging up the lights. And finding a Christmas tree. The fifth thing at Christmas That's such a pain to me: Five month of bills! Sending Christmas cards. Hangovers. Rigging up the lights. And finding a Christmas tree. The sixth thing at Christmas That's such a pain to me: Facing my in-laws. Five months of bills. Oh, I hate those Christmas cards. Hangovers. Rigging up these lights. And finding a Christmas tree. The seventh thing a Christmas, that's such a pain to me: The Salvation Army. Facing my in-laws. Five months of bills! Sending Christmas cards. Ohhh geeez. I'm tryin to rig up these lights! And finding a Christmas tree. The eighth thing at Christmas, that's such a pain to me: I want a transformer for Christmas. Charities, and what do you mean YOUR in-laws?! Five months of bills. Ughh, makin' up these cards. oh, Edith get me a beer huh? What we have no extension cords?! And finding a Christmas tree. The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Finding parking spaces, Daddy, I want some candy! Donations! Facing my in-laws. Five months of bills. Writing out those Christmas cards. Hangovers. Now why the hell are they blinking?! And finding a Christmas tree. The tenth thing at Christmas That's such a pain to me: Batteries not included. No parking spaces. Buy me something! Get a job you bum! Facing my in-laws. Five months of bills. Yo-ho sending Christmas cards. Oh-geez look at this. One light goes out, they all go out! And finding a Christmas tree. The eleventh thing at Christmas That's such a pain to me: Stale T.V. specials. Batteries not included. No parking spaces Mom, I gotta go bathroom! Charities! She's a witch, I hate her. Five months of bills. Oh, I don't even know half these people! Oh, who has the toilet paper, huh? Turn on a flashlight, I blew a fuse! And finding a Christmas tree. The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Singing Christmas carols. Stale T.V. specials. Batteries not included. No parking! WAHH (crying) Charities. Gotta make 'em dinner. Five months of bills. I'm not sending 'em this year, that's it! Shut up, you! Fine, you're so smart! You rig up the lights! And finding a Christmas tree.


cracks me up!

Add other stress to that and it's even worse! I know that for me this season has brought home to me the reality of relationships that have fallen by the wayside. And I have to tell you it's really been bothering me lately.

How is it that people who claim to care, claim to be your friend and even on an unspoken level have entered into that "contract" if you will of relationship...be it friendship, family or romantic can just choose to fade away? That is something missing from my DNA and is so foreign to me that I just don't get it! I have a couple of friends who I actually used to consider BEST friends who one has just faded away and I talk to her once in a while. And the other has just dropped out of site. No return phone calls, emails, Christmas card...nothing. And as a matter of fact I think she even moved! I drove by her house and I was contemplating stopping and giving her a piece of my mind and it looks like her house is empty and there's a big pile of trash on the curb!!!! Well alrighty then!!! How do you do that? Just stop communicating? The circle of people in my life are rather small. Each one hand-picked and is special to me. I treasure those people and can tell you what place in my life each and every one of them fills. What need they meet. I honor their friendship and I cherish it. Whether I'm busy, stressed out, sick...it doesn't matter! I'm checking on you to see if you're ok. I'm celebrating with you, or crying with you. Always praying with you. I could never just walk away and selfishly only focus on my "stuff".

What got me so riled up about this now is not just the two people I considered my best friends going pretty much M.I.A., but it was a new friend too. He was my e-harmony guy that I was VERY excited about. Excited enough to break my oath of never mentioning guys too early because you jynx them. See! I mentioned him on here and now he's gone! I DID jynx it! lol Well anyways, it had only been a few weeks, but we had grown by leaps and bounds in that time. We were talking 3 and 4 hours every day. We had gotten pretty close. Then all of a sudden......*POOF* He's gone. Never called again. So after about a week i sent him an email saying that i was confused as to what happened and telling him how it had hurt my feelings. It was like being stood up for a date! He apologized for it and explained that things he had going on in his life, but frankly I don't care! There's no reason besides you're dead and I missed the obituary in the paper that you can't at least take 5 mins and either call or email me to say you've gotta go take care of some business for a while and you're going to be distant.

What that showed my really is that he isn't a person I'd probably want to be with full-time. Although he is a pretty amazing guy. Any guy that would blow me off and not return phone calls, send me to voice mail( and yes I meant SEND me to voicemail! Because when someone has NEXTEL you can tell when they don't want to talk to you. They get a little screen telling them who's calling and asking if you want to take a call from them...you click yes or no. No sends straight to V.M. It has a very distinctive sound when you're the caller and someone "no's" you.) and not drop an email line is not my kind of guy! unless it was a huge fluke and he comes and REALLY apologizes and tries to win me back then that's just too bad for him....it's his loss because I am fabulous darling! :)

See all the garbage in my mind??? Anything but a silent night in here!!! Happy Christmas Eve to every one of you whom I love and adore! My darling friends....I would do anything for any one of you! I LOVE YOU!

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