Stay in the moment...
Yesterday my car got smashed by an SUV. *sobbing emoji* Wait, first let me back up a week. Last week, a certain incident that did not involve me (I wasn't even in the car), but involved one of my children (who shall remain nameless *COUGH EMMA COUGH*) left the driver's side of my car dented and the mirror shattered. That broke my heart and infuriated me all at the same time. This was my pretty new car!
Then yesterday, I was driving down through the parking garage at work and suddenly BAM! A woman didn't look behind her as she started to back up and floored the gas of her SUV ramming the side of my car. Know what her car got? Some of my paint on her bumper. Mmmmmhhmmmmm. To recap, this means that now BOTH sides of my car are damaged. *sigh*
WAAAHHHHH! *sniff*
I've never had to file an insurance claim before and within one week I had to file two of them. This has left me upset, to say the least. I've felt frustrated, embarrassed to have to drive this banged up car, and afraid of coming up with the money to pay TWO deductibles. Blah.
Earlier in the week, I had been talking (read: lecturing) to Emma about staying in the moment. She can stress herself out so bad and usually gets super depressed and full of anxiety when she does this. I was asking her, "What do you know for sure? You know that in THIS moment, you are in a safe, peaceful home, and it is bed time. You aren't dealing with school or whatever else is worrying you. Because in this moment, all you know for sure is that you are safe, peaceful, have some good shows on TV, and are going to bed."
A few days later, I got to eat my words because as I sat here stewing over the state of my vehicle, I realized that I needed to practice what I preach. What do I know for sure? I know that in this moment, God is in control, and even in the midst of the mess His grace still flowed abundantly. The metal on my car bent in just the perfect way as to not interfere with any of the workings of my car...so even though it looked bad (and the passenger door wouldn't open), it was driveable. I didn't have to miss work for lack of a vehicle. I wasn't hurt and neither was anyone else. And I have insurance.
So, I kept repeating this to myself... "What I know for sure in this moment is that my car may have been injured, but I know there must be a good reason why. My car is still driveable and I'm safe. I have good insurance and I am positive that God will take care of the deductible and that the money will be taken care of." I made a conscious decision to stay in this moment and not worry about what had happened or what would come.
The present moment is truly all we ever have. Each individual second is all that is real, and as the seconds tick away, they too become the past. Living right here, in this very moment and being grateful for all of the love and beauty that surround us is really the only healthy way to live.
If you ever find yourself stressed, anxious, or depressed that is because you are not in the moment. When you realize you are doing that, imagine the thought you are thinking as being a helium balloon, and just open your hand and let it float away. Don't judge yourself, just come back to the present. That's where the peace lies.
As I write this, I can say that in this moment my life is completely
sweet. I have a warm, cozy home. My car is in the body shop and my
insurance provided a rental car. My daughter is singing softly to
herself as she rearranges her bedroom because she is a cute, sweet (most
of the time) teenager. And I feel joyful and content because I have
meditated and have nothing to complain about. In this moment, my cup runneth over.
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