Pick up where I left off....

I know that some of you are just running across my blog, but that's ok. I'm just going to pick up where my other blog has left off and pretend as if we have known each other for life. It's easier that way. I hate starting over and getting to know new people. The whole business of explaining all of the idiosyncricies of your life--uggh, I'm exhausted just thinking about it! So if you ever have any questions, just ask me. If you're too embarrassed to ask then just play along and hopefully you'll catch up eventually.
Darren called tonight to ask me to yell at Courtney for something she was doing. I tried--actually I didn't try. I started to try and at the first sign of her arguing back with me, I said, "you know what? Where is your father?"
"At work."
"Where is your grandma?"
"Sleeping and she said she doesn't want to be bothered. Mom, you've GOT to get him away from me! He is SO annoying!"
"Courtney, I don't want to hear it. YOU wanted to live there, so now you're there...with him. You made your choice, I hope you enjoy it. I love you and goodnight!" *click*
It makes me sad when I think about the fact that she has betrayed me (in my mind) and abandoned our family (mutiny and she should totally walk the plank). Part of me wants to run over there and rescue her, and part of me is soooo glad that she is getting some irritation out of this!
In other news, my cat is still getting on my nerves. She's not in heat anymore, but she still doesn't SHUT UP! Whoever knew (not me!) that there were talking cats??? I swear she talks like a human! And she sits outside of my bedroom door, tapping it with her paw and saying, "HELLLOOOOO" over and over again. I don't know if it cracks me up or freaks me out more.
Work was rough tonight. I didn't feel good in HUGE ways. I actually needed to go put my head down for a while, which I haven't had to do for a year or so. Lupus was in full-effect and it sucked! Not feeling good and being tired made for a lazy attitude which definitely has it's upsides. It's during these lazy times that I "decide to have diarrhea" and sit in the bathroom and talk to Allison for a while. Yes, I said "decide" to have diarrhea! We decided long ago that there are really only two excuses that will get you a free pass in almost any situation--I started my period and I had diarrhea. People automatically back off and say, "Oh, of course...I totally understand." Since I can't go around starting my period three days a week at work, I have to have diarrhea.
So tonight when I decided to have diarrhea, we got on a NASTY *ROLPH* subject that still has me nauseous *ROLPH*. I was telling her about a patient that had WORMS coming out of his nose. *ROLPH* Yes, you read right....worms. I had to explain the whole pathophysiology of how that could happen, then go through every possible scenario of how this could possibly happen to Allison. (You mean if I go outside barefoot...YES. And if my animals drag stuff inside and I'm barefoot...YES. You get the picture). I am still so sickened by this and am ready to hurl at any moment. I was telling her how people who get worms have itchy butts because the worms come out at night to feed. We had both agreed that the title of this blog was supposed to be "Does your butt itch?"...but I chickened out. lol
I can't sleep. My other half doesn't have any trouble with that though--he's sleeping enough for the both of us. I'm actually starting to wind down. If the world's most annoying cat would quit trying to open my bedroom door, maybe I could get some sleep.


Allison said…
Ok, and just so you know...I just cannot go outside without my shoes on anymore! Even to walk across the driveway to take something to the trash can last night I put my sandals on! Thanks for the heads up on that, my wise nurse friend. Don't want any worms ever to come out of my nose...or anywhere else for that matter.

P.S. And your kitty loves you. That's what she's trying to tell you.
Shoe wearing Rita said…
You guys are both sick! What happens when you walk without shoes? I really need to know, not that I'm walking barefoot anymore...get back at me!
This is the most honest I've heard you in a really long time! lol
Hugs to you non itchy but running butt! lol
Welllll--since you asked! When you walk barefoot and step on larvae or eggs, they get in through the cracks in your feet. They then bore their way into a blood vessell and travel to your lungs. Usually, they sit there and you feel like you have to clear your throat--which you do, and then swallow. The worms are now in your digestive tract and live in your gut--and usuall stick their nasty little heads out of your butthole at night to feed and then go back inside. This is why you would have an itchy butt, and you're supposed to wrap scotch tape around your fingers at night and separate the butt cheeks and tap the tape to the anus. If there are eggs or worms there, then you got issues! YOU ASKED FOR IT!!! :) I can talk down and dirty medical all day long! :)
Real Life in Ohio said…
Thank you for posting this. Now maybe I can convince my kids to stop walking outside barefoot. If this doesn't work, nothing will!
shawnda said…
Yeah, soapie! Thanks alot...I don't walk barefoot now either you turd! But I am glad to have a nurse as a friend to say, "Ewe, girl you nasty! You need to keep them shoes on!" but in a nice way! ha! Courtney, well...give it time. She'll be back! Two words...annoying boys!