5.16.2009

Freeze this

I’ve been facing a lot of changes and adjustments lately that have been been pretty private. Thanks to a whole two or three people in my life (ahem! The wasbands!) I have to maneuver like mission impossible whenever I do anything anymore in order to maintain my privacy, but it’s worth it if it keeps them away from me. Unfortunately, what this means is that I have to deal with a whole lot of things on my own. While I’m used to doing the “strong” thing, it still stinks that I have to do it. Who wants to be Hercules all the time?
Anyways, while I can’t/won’t share a lot of the things I’m dealing with right now, I can say that beginnings are scary, endings are sad and change is stressful. Nothing we all don’t know. What never fails to amaze me though, is the unexpected kindness of others. Tonight I was surprised with an offer to do something so kindhearted. It was regarding a picture that I saw that touched my heart…and the person who took the picture wanted to bless me by sending me a copy of it. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since! I am so stoked to get this picture in the mail and have been racking my brain playing with the options of where to put it. I know, I need to get out more, right? But it’s those simple, little things in life that make your heart smile that are the things you will take with you forever. It’s the “freeze this” that I’ve always liked to talk about. For those that don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain.
Ever since my kids were babies, there have been moments that steal my breath away. You know those moments that catch your attention and amaze you, where you find yourself thinking, “it just doesn’t get any better than this.” One that always immediately comes to my mind when I talk about this was when Maddie was about 3 years old and we were outside in the back yard. I don’t remember what I was doing, but I remember looking over to see my baby girl with the rosy, chubby cheeks sitting in her little bathing suit with a ballerina tutu over top of it, goggles on her eyes, holding a dandelion with a little cat trying to climb in her lap. If you could just wrap your mind’s eye around this for just a moment…it was the most precious thing I think I’d ever seen! At that moment, my heart exploded with…with…I don’t even know what word to use! It’s more than happiness, more than blessing…that’s the sweet stuff. The good stuff that everyone lives for. That’s what it’s about, right there. And that’s what I call a “freeze this” moment. Like if we were able to spiritually or mentally freeze that very moment in time like a snapshot to save forever and ever. I am a firm believer that when we get to Heaven, the Lord is going to let us review our lives. And I believe that there is going to be a special film reel full of my “freeze this” moments and I am going to be able to melt into the reality of how sweet my life has really been.
My last one of those moments was last weekend when we were on our way to Cleveland. I can’t remember what song was playing on the radio, but I remember that all three of my girls plus myself were blaring out the words to this song and we were all dancing. Everyone was smiling and enjoying life at that exact moment in time. It hit me like a brick in the heart and as my eyes teared up I became still for a moment so that I could soak it in. I know that the moments I have left where all three of my girls will always be with me are quickly escaping me. It was through watery eyes that I smiled and whispered a silent prayer for my beauties and ended with, “And Lord, please freeze this.”

1 comment:

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I know the feeling all too well. It's unfortunate these special moments don't happen more often, but maybe that's why they are as special as they are...

Take care of yourself.

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