The climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
i'm always gonna wanna make it move

always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast I get there
ain't about what's waiting on the other side
it's the climb

I am NOT a Miley Cyrus fan. Not even in the tiniest bit, but I do love this song. I think it could have been sung brilliantly by someone else and sounds like karaoke by her, but I'm in love with the message because it sounds so much like me.

I've been pretty introspective lately. For the past week or so I've been spending a ton of time in the quiet...no tv, sometimes music. For so long now I have surrounded myself with noise because I don't want to hear that still small voice inside of me. I've made some wrong choices and some decisions that don't represent myself well and besides that, honestly I wanted to wallow a little bit. I've been sad, I've been regretful, I've been lacking hope and I wasn't really in the mood to be encouraged. So I avoided it and tried to drown out both my voice and God's and in the process continued to do things wrong.

I hate knowing that there is even one person on the face of this earth who has a grudge against me or that has been hurt by me...that's just now how my heart operates. Sometimes though, it just is what it is and it's time to move on and remember who I am and remember that I am not the sum total of my mistakes. It's learning the difference between your WHO and your DO. What I've done does not make up who I am.

Recently, John Mayer said something on his blog that has stuck with me in a powerful way. He said:

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“But to evolve you have to dismantle, and that means accepting the idea that nothing you've created in the past matters anymore, except that it brought you here. To pick up your new marching orders. “

And that's what I've decided it's time to do...dismantle. Nothing I've done or created before matters anymore. I am taking it all apart and keeping the good and discarding the bad and figuring out where I need to go from here. Am I going to make mistakes again? Undoubtedly. The difference between me & some others though is that I strive to have a teachable spirit and I at least TRY to learn from my mistakes and do better next time.

It's a beautiful day today. It's 74 degrees right now and all of my windows are open. It actually smells like spring in my house which always gives me the hope of new beginnings. Second chances. The winter has come, things have died, I spent some time in the cold and dark...and now it's time to move on. Things are going to heal and regrow...hopefully even more beautifully than they've ever been before.

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna want to make it move
Always going to be an up-hill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna want to make it move
Always going to be an up-hill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith