6.24.2006

He just IS that into you

I was reading a friends blog today about relationships. More specifically, it was about the book "He's Just Not That Into You." If you've never read it...you should. It's about the way the we (typically women) keep men around that really aren't all that into us and we continue to make excuses for their behavior and lack of attention. For example, if he doesn't call, it's because "he's really busy", etc. This originally came up on an episode of sex and the city where Miranda has a date that she thinks went extremely well. The guy says goodbye to her at her door and she invites him up...and he declines due to an "early meeting" the next day, but says he wants to go out again and had a great time. She's excited about it, thinking that date #2 is on it's way. The next day she's out to dinner with her girlfriends and "Berger" (Carrie's boyfriend) and proceeds to tell them all about it. The girls are soooo excited for her and agree with her that it sounds very promising. Then she looks at Berger and asks what he thinks and he looks at her plainly and says "he's just not that into you." He goes on to give his opinion that not only will there not be a second date, but that she should be expecting an uncomfortable email/message/text soon explaining why he hasn't called and basically dismissing himself from her life. Berger says that he knows all of this because when a guy is into you...he's sealing the deal. No matter what "the deal" might be...he's going to go through with it. Early meetings don't matter. Saving the world wouldn't matter! If he's into you...there's nothing stopping him from paying attention to you. He will spend time with you. He will call you. Show you attention. Try to take things to the next level. Basically, when a guy is into you....you will have NOOOOOOO doubts about it. And none of us should settle for anything less than that, should we? But we all have, haven't we? I know I have. I've had a serial run of guys that were unavailable in one fashion or another. The sad thing is that when you are around that for long enough, you kind of become desensitized in a way. It's not that big of a deal to you anymore. Not as much of a surprise. And because I had started to become a little numb in that area, that meant that when I came across a man that really WAS that into me....it took me by surprise because I wasn't used to it anymore.

I have been blessed with a man in my life now that is the polar opposite of the men I have dated before. I feel like I'm on another episode of sex and the city when Aidan gave Carrie his apartment key and the girls responded with "Wow, that's big!!"...and she said, "No, that's the OPPOSITE of big" (referring to "Mr. Big" who was very emotionally unavailable). I have been rather protective of Scott so far and so I haven't spoken much about him on here...but I'll share a little bit tonight, simply because I'm so blessed by him. He is such a genuine, authentic person and he goes above and beyond to let me know how valued I am in his life. He calls, he spends time with me, he lets me know how important I am to him and all of the positive things he thinks about me. Not one cell in my body has to question whether or not he's really into me.

When you're with someone who's not giving you what you need, you can tend to question whether or not you're being overdramtic or over-reacting....until you come across a man who DOES give you what you need....then you know! You have no questions. No doubts.
Don't settle! Hold out for the real thing...you're worth it!

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