6.09.2006

Delicate


I'm so tender tonight. Usually when I say that I mean that I'm achey and sore. But tonight it's more my heart than my body.

I don't know why tonight vs. any other night. Nothing is wrong in my life. My kids were so good today I woke up worried they left the house without permission because they had been so quiet so I could sleep. I have the best man in my life that I have ever had (except for when he was the best young man ever in my life at 17). My health is really good. Everything is good. So why the melancholy?

Actually, I think it's because everything is in fact so good in my life and that I've actually been moving closer to the Lord with Scott (I love that every conversation we have always comes back to our faith and how good God is. And I love that he prays with me...just like a man should). I've even been reading my books and spending more time in the word.

All of this combined leaves me with one thought...Satan is attacking where he knows I'm usually the weakest....the fact that I'm so prone to depression. I've always said that if you don't meet the devil head-on then you must be going in the same direction...and I'm definitely not...so I should expect him to start messing with me. And this isn't his first rodeo...he's known me for a long time and he's been lying to me and planning the defeat of Veronica since the moment of my creation. He knows right how to hit me where it'll hurt and how to be the most effective. The problem for poor little ole him is that I'm onto him. I've learned to recognize his voice and cast that condemnation aside. I'm listening for the voice of truth...not the voice of the enemy. So even when he makes tiny steps forward...I, with God's power, will win the victory.

I've been working on positive thinking. Proverbs 23:7 says that as a man thinks in his heart so is he...which means if you're thinking depressed or negative thoughts in your heart then that's what your attitude and even your life is going to be. So even though I'm very tender-spirited tonight, my thoughts stay positive. I won't let satan sneak that condemnation in there. I keep throwing Romans 8:1 at him to keep him in his place...


"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

God is faithful and I've been through this enough times before to know that this is nothing. lol The righteous get knocked down seven times and still get up again...isn't that what the Bible says? With God's help, I'm pretty-much bullet proof by this time...but that still doesn't mean that a girl doesn't feel a little delicate once in a while. And on those days I guess I just need a little tenderness...hey where is Taylor Hicks when I need him???

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