6.11.2006

Freeze this


Throughout my life there have been moments (as with everyone, I'm sure) that are more poignant than others. They're nothing fancy, they're just little moments that if you aren't paying attention to you'll miss. I call these my "freeze this" moments. See, I believe that when we get to Heaven that we're going to see a kind of video of our lives. What we're not so proud of, but I believe that God is so loving, merciful and graceful that he's also going to bless us with the good stuff just to see us smile. You know, the sweet moments of everyday life that are exactly what life is made of...the good stuff.

I was going to say that it's mainly since becoming a mom that I've noticed them the most, but I got married and became a mom so young that it's pretty much been my whole life. lol The point is that I notice them. At least I try to. That's what keeps me centered. Grounded. It's being so caught up in paying the bills and looking up to see my little one sitting in the grass in her ballerina tutu with her swimming goggles on her head with pigtails and smelling flowers she picked. (get that mental picture in your head for a moment) OH MAN *grabbing my chest*....THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF! That's a moment that I silently whisper to the Lord, "Freeze this." It's not even really paying attention to the fact that my daughter is in the room with me because I'm checking email and as she's coloring she catches me off-guard by blurting out "you know mom, I love you more than pork chops." FREEZE THIS. It's running around so busy getting ready for work that I'm stressed and thinking "why can't these kids settle down and be quiet" and then realizing how sweet the sounds of their giggles are. FREEZE THIS. When I'm stressed at work and not even really thinking about what I'm doing and a patient takes my hand and with tears in her eyes says "Thank you so much for everything you do." Wow, FREEZE THIS. Sitting around a table or a living room with all of the women I love in my life laughing, crying...whatever. Realizing how important they all are in their own way to me. FREEZE THIS. Looking into someones eyes and knowing that there's nowhere else on earth that I'd rather be at that moment in time and that I've never felt that way before....FREEZE THIS. The very first instant that I laid eyes on each of my children...the very first second. "She has your chin!", "It's a boy!", "She looks like you", "She looks just like Madelaine!". Looking over in amazement into the bassinet and being awe-struck that this was my baby and how beautiful she was. Mommy, look at me riding my bike! Sylvia Zilch pinning my nursing pin on me and the impact she had on my life...I was crying like a baby...right at the moment she looked me in the eye and said "you're so very special." The moment my dad made eye contact with me and he had such a look of pride in his eyes when holding his grandchild. As Joleen was running in through the emergency room doors one December night with tears in her eyes and scooping Courtney and I up in her arms. Seeing my beloved pastor hold Randy while they both cried in my front yard that same night. Seeing my childs face light up at a school program when they spot me in the crowd. Holding my daughter while we both cried and hearing her say she stopped a boy from going too far because she could hear my voice and advice in her head. YES!!! That's the good stuff! And I have so many in my archive that there's no way to even begin listing them here! I've been so blessed.


It's all those little "freeze this" moments that I want the Lord to play back for me when I'm standing before him. I'm sure he'll have plenty of his own to throw in there from before I started paying attention or from when I was just too caught up in things that just don't matter. Like when I was 15 years old and got saved while laying in my bed and talking to the Lord. Or when I was 16 and Allison threw me a surprise birthday party with people who hardly knew me just because she didn't want me to go without and she loved me. Oh Lord, please freeze that. Those are the things that make me who I am. Not the job, not the money, not travel. Not at all.


Life isn't made up of the breaths we take,
but the moments that take our breath away.

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