Friday (Monday) Five
- Got my tax refund. HALLELUJAH! I was able to get my bills (aka MOM) paid off and able to get a few extra things that we needed as well. There's not much that gives me peace like knowing my needs are met financially. I have had so much stress in my adult life due to lack of money it's ridiculous. Which, you would think, would make me like a compulsive saver or something...but alas, that hasn't happened.
- My little girl is starting to branch out into her own style. We went to buy Amelia her new bike and I could tell she was struggling big-time with her decision. She was so torn. I could tell she wanted to do the "right" thing and get the pink, girlie bike. She kept trying it out and pretending to like it, but her face just fell flat every time she rode it. What she loved, was the lime green, boys bike with the pegs and when I said, "you know, you can get the boys bike if you want to"... her face lit up and she was absolutely blissful! So...she got the boys bike and is thrilled with it and so proud. I just have to say...I think my girls rock so hard! I love that they each have such strong personalities. Although, combined with my strong personality, it can be combustible at times to say the least, but I still love it. I'm raising some powerful women over here...I just hope they put it all to good use in the world.
- Still talking to the guy. That's about all I can say about it. Not because I wouldn't if there was something to tell, but because that's about it. Normally this would be the sort of thing that would drive me crazy because by nature I am a deep person. I am just able to go there with someone. But this guy seems to be the antithesis to my personality....which frankly, is precisely what I need right now. I need friendly, somewhat shallow, adult conversation that just is what it is and is no deeper. Usually, I would be crushed if a guy seemed not very engaged, but for this moment in time, it's fantastic. I am enjoying him very much at this point in time. He's a very nice guy, just different than me. His reaction to a mention of Valentine's Day? "Bah humbug." What did he text me today? "Happy single people have more fun day." Yeah. SO not me. BUT, the last thing in the world I need to is have anything emotional going on. To be honest, for the first time in my entire life, I feel like I'M the one who is detached. Which brings me to....
- I have found myself in a real fuck-you-Collin phase. Don't get me wrong, he is soaked into my cells and is part of my DNA, but I'm finding myself more than a little pissed off at him. I don't care anything about doing the right thing, etc. blah blah blah. You might be my best friend, but my other friends? They're still here... and you're NOT. This guy? The one who is not all that engaged and I don't have much in common with? He's nice, but he's not you. But you know what? HE'S HERE. And you're? NOT. Fuck you.
- Have to get up at 5:30 all week for leadership classes. Blah. I predict that won't help any with my cranky phase.