6.13.2007

Kickin' it

Allison posed the following:

"Ok, so question….

First: What habits are you brave enough to admit to?

Second: What are some ways that you have found to help overcome bad habits once and for all?

Third:
What are your thoughts regarding this seemingly never-ending life struggle??"

Wow...BIG questions! This is going to take some thought and some time to think about, but let me see what I can come up with.

-Not answering my phone. Jesus would probably get my voicemail if he tried to call me.

-Needing lip balm...ALL the time. I can't stand the feeling of my lips without it. I'm addicted unfortunately.

-Needing lotion....same with the lip balm...I can't stand the feeling of dry skin or feet. It drives me crazy! I'll wake up in the middle of the night to put the stuff on. I keep it right next to my bed.

-Staying awake at night and then napping during the day.

-Eating out instead of cooking.

-Dairy Queen or K-Cream Corner (in Lorain)...although I've gotten MUCH better about how often we go.

-Revealing too much of myself with underserving people.

-Wanting things or people that I can't/shouldn't have.

-Procrastinating

-Not opening my mail. I don't have the money to pay it so I don't want to know what it says. If I got a check in the mail I'd probably never know it unless it came in a cute envelope from someone I know.

-Going to bed with my hair wet. I used to always blow out my hair and now I always feel like my hair is a mess and not styled good and it's because I'm too lazy.

-Not wearing makeup. (Same reason as above)

-Being WAY too nice to people instead of standing up for myself or enforcing what THEY should be doing.

-Letting Darren get away with too much just because I'd rather not deal with his crap or attitude.

-Being too hard on Courtney (sometimes) because I expect more of her.

-Not taking my medications on time. I'm a nurse, I should know better.

-Self diagnosing and treating myself. (See above)

-Letting Scott get away with a 68 instead of a 69.... he always owes me one if you know what I mean.


Ok, that's enough! lol I sound crazy enough now! I have some work to do I guess. What else is new.

How have I dealt with bad habits in my life? Most of the time if it's dealing with someone else, I just tend to get stubborn. I decide what I want and I dig my heels in until I get it. They don't get what they want from me until I get what I want and I don't care if they dont' like me for a little while. I have needs, wants and boundaries too. Second, I pray about them....ALOT. It does help...although not as quickly as I would like! Third, I just tell myself "no" and then just ride through the hard part. It gets easier eventually. Last, with certain situations dealing with people I've just allowed myself to really see the negative about that person instead of ignoring it and only seeing the positive. Unfortunately it has made me a little cynical in certain areas, but it has helped DRAMATICALLY with breaking the habits of people I shouldn't be thinking about. I just ask myself if that's the life I really want to live. Is that how I want to be remembered? For pining after someone who doesn't deserve me, etc. No. It's not. So like it or not I'm going for something different.

There's no easy way or answer...if there were then NO ONE would have any bad habits. It's part of the frustration and also the beauty of being human. Some of my "bad" habits I don't really want to get rid of...they add to my "Veronicaness" (to quote Dupree from "you, me & dupree"). It's the same reason I like to cut my own hair sometimes and just start whacking at the layers and texture....I like it perfectly imperfect. That's usually when I get the most compliments because I actually think people (in their humanness) respond to that. You can spot a mile away when someone is trying to be something they're not and acting "too perfect". They become total posers and that sucks.

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