4.14.2007

This is it turning out right

Overall it's been a good week. True, I haven't felt very good and I've been battling (hard) with forming/not forming alot of resentment for what I feel is Scott stealing my vacation from me. This was supposed to be our makeshift honeymoon and the vacation that I've been waiting for since 1997....and NOTHING turned out the way I wanted or planned. I was so disappointed and sad but have been trying to deal with it without too much of a chip on my shoulder.

So now I'm sitting here knowing that this is my last "free" night before the kids start coming home and I'm dreading going back to "reality". I know that in less than 24 hours there will be kids fighting and arguing, laundry accruing, not enough sleep before work, on and on and on. But unlike the discontent that would've been brewing inside of me long ago, there's something else now. Something unfamiliar but sweet. This isn't loneliness. It's not wondering what's going to happen in my future and wondering where my life's going. No, now even when there are temporary set-backs or let-downs it's simply a tile coming off of the roof...not the whole roof coming in. Now it's not "everything's wrong"....this is it turning out right.

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