From bad to worse

I thought I had side effects.  Today I realized it can always get worse.  Early this morning, I realized right away that I was going to have to make friends with the nausea.  At the house of my first patient of the day, she was upstairs in the bedroom, and normally that's not a big deal because I jog up and down peoples stairs all day when I work.  Today however, by the time I reached the top of the stairs, I had broken out in a major cold sweat and was so short of breath I could hardly speak.  I tried to put my game face on, but today that didn't work so well.

Every house after that it got worse and worse.  I was so woozy and dizzy and sweating profusely.  I almost passed out right on top of two of these unlucky people today.  By the time I left the last house of the day, the only thing that got me through it was fervent prayer.  "Lord, please don't let me pass out.  Please just get me home.  Please just get me to my car.  Please don't let me ever get fired for being sick.  Just get me out of here please, please, please."

By the time I got to my car, I literally fell into the seat, pulled the door shut and slammed the lock down (safety first, even when you're dying!).  I laid there panting and sweating and thinking (literally) that I might be dying.  My ears were ringing and my hearing was dimmed like I was in a tunnel.  I called Paul and could hardly speak.  I wouldn't say I was confused, but I couldn't get the words out and it was hard to make a coherent sentence.  It was like my sugar was rock-bottom, and probably my blood pressure.  My hands were shaking so bad I could hardly hold my keys.

It was ridiculous and there's no way I should have driven home.  (Slapping self in forehead *stupid stupid stupid*)  I slowly got home and had big-time trouble trying to get the front door open, because my hands were shaking too bad to get the key in the door.  I was determined though, because I had nightmares of faceplanting in my front yard and having my kids find me there.  Yeah, not happening on my watch.  I ate a little something, laid down, and slowly came back to life.  Kind of.  I'm not totally better... still woozy, stomach pain, nausea, etc.  But I'm a whole lot better than earlier.  Earlier scared the shit out of me.  I did not like earlier.

lurve you, xoxo v.


Barbara said…
Really sorry you have to go thru does "suck" that your meds have to make you feel so bad before you can feel better.

Love you, Mom
Allison said…
Thank You, Lord, for protecting my friend today....especially while she drove. Please heal her body and help her to feel better very soon. Please give her rest tonight and relief from the horrible way that she is feeling. I love her, Lord, but I know that You love her even more. Please hold her close to You tonight...and give her a big hug for me.
Chell said…
I'm so sorry that you're having such a difficult time. Wish I was there to give you a hug (and a ride home). I love you and I am praying for you to feel better.
Ok, I need to go finish the cry that started at the beginning of this blog. I love you boo, this makes me so sad. I wish I could be there and help somehow.
Praying and thanking the Lord that He got you though and kept you safe.
Love you girl so much!
Dodi said…
Sorry your sick. Are you on Prednisone? Reason I ask is that is exactly how it made me feel. Please get better.
veronica said…
I'm on Prednisone, Imuran and Plaquenil.
ixy said…
What an awful, scary day. Good luck on your journey and hopefully these days are few and far between.

Visiting from FTLOB Fab Friends :)
So sorry to hear about your day being so bad. I don't know you but I hopped over from FTLOB FAB Friend Friday. I just want to encourage you and know that I will be praying for you.

I just returned from my doctor and am starting a new med regiment for my rheumatoid and fibromyalgia. Pain sucks!

I wish I had the courage to talk so openly about it. I am trying to write a post about my struggles and you are an inspiration to try to share my experiences.

God bless you and keep you and Make His Face shine upon you!

veronica said…
Thank you all, I appreciate the encouragement... I need it!