6.05.2011

Back to the drawing board.

This picture sums up how I feel.  I just want to lay down.  But even laying down makes me miserable.  It started Thursday on the way to the airport to get my mom.  Fever, lethargy, pain everywhere especially my head and chest.  NAUSEA.  So bad that the next day I called my rheumatologist to tell her that I am stopping this chemo med because I'm not tolerating it.  The thing is that when I stopped the first med, I felt better by the next day or so.  With this med, this is my third day without it and I still feel just as miserable.  Maybe not quite as nauseous, but the pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, weakness, is all still the same.  I've thought about going to the e.r., but I don't like to do that to my kids and make them worry.  So I keep telling myself that if I still feel this way after they leave for back east on Thursday, maybe then I'll go.  Ugh.  I can't wait to get to Heaven and get a new body.  Well, I CAN wait, it's not like I want it to happen today, but the new body thing will be wonderful.  I wonder what it feels like to not feel like death most of the time.  I don't know what that's like.


lurve you, xoxo v.

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