Litter bearer

Church was so good today. Exactly what I needed and then some! Scott didn't go--he was sick, of course. *rolling eyes* I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and then I'm going to start kicking butt if it keeps happening. But anyways....

I felt through the whole service that it was a word JUST FOR know how that goes. But seriously, this was directly for me and it confirmed it when the pastor said something really powerful and stopped and said "And that is a special word for someone in this audience because I didn't say that to either of the other services...only here. So that it for someone where God is working in special areas in your life right now...he's speaking to you and you know who you are." Yep, I knew who I was.

The service started out after the praise music by one of the pastors coming up and talking very movingly about how he knows some of the people there have been in a battle for their lives lately and for the lives of their loved ones. AMEN TO THAT! He went on to talk about how important our job in the battle is. It's our JOB as fellow christians and family members to fight the battle and take care of the wounded. When you are in battle that strong NOTHING else matters except for saving the life of the wounded one. Time stops, money doesn't matter, food, shopping, none of it...only saving the life of the person that is under attack by the enemy. Then he said "Christians you need to stay STRONG! I can feel that someone in here has been going through this exact thing and you've literally been battling hell and demons for the life of your loved one! DON'T GET WEARY because the battle isn't over yet...but as long as God as SOMETHING to work with, he'll bring your miracle! He worked with the fish and the loaves and took care of every need...because he had SOMETHING to work with. You don't have to be perfect or even strong all the just have to be able to give him something...your fait, your devotion, your willingness, your prayers...because the power isn't in the prayer--it's in the one who hears it!

By this point I was sobbing and in tears don't you know? lol All that kept crossing my mind through this whole sermon was the reserch I've been doing for one of my books lately on wwii medics. I've read story after story of the brave, strong medics being sent onto the battlefield over and over...not because they needed fixed, but because there was a fellow soldier out there who did. The leader sent them into battle to help the sick and wounded. They couldn't fix them...they could give them some medicine...then they had to help carry the wounded to the one who COULD fix them. The stretchers were called "litters" and the medics that carried them were called "litter bearers".

Hearing this and thinking about my home situation I kept being reminded the parrallels. God has placed me as a litter bearer so many times in my life! I'm tired Lord! lol But right now it's my job. I didn't pick it, it was appointed to me. My job is to see that man sick and under attack and help him get to where he can't get help and healing. I have to have faith enough for my entire family right now.

Thinking about all of this I was reminded of some pretty harsh things a friend of mine said to me the other night. I felt like I got spiritually sucker-punched by her. I respect her and love her, but know that she doesn't spend any time at all with me to know my home life or my personality very well. She ambushed me in the hallway at work and told me that she felt she was friend enough to tell me that I need to look at the fruit in my life and see that there isn't any and so obviously what I'm doing isn't working, because if I had any power in my life I wouldn't have this attack on my house and I would be able to speak in tongues. LOL yeah! I was so insulted thinking that she doesn't know anything about me, plus Allison reminded me that I DO have fruit in my life and that God sends these tests to refine us for HIS good. And that it says that he prunes those that he loves so that he can bear even more fruit.

I've been praying pretty hard about it and asking God if there was any truth to it, etc...and I've just been reminded over and over that I'm in battle right now...and I'm obediently doing what I should be doing. That's good enough for me! If God wants me to move, he'll tell me.

This blog didn't turn out to be anything like what I planned for it to be...but it's 4 in the morning and I'm tired and don't even know if any of this makes sense! lol So I'm calling it a night and going to bed. I love you all and appreciate you all too. My hearts desire is to touch, inspire and move as many people in my life towards Christ as I possibly can. As long as I'm still moving in that direction every day then I'm ok with myself. God rewards obedience...and I'm trying to do my best even when my flesh argues with me. That's about all I can do day after day.