9.01.2006

Weeds

The grass is always greener. At least that's what we, as humans, naturally think. That's what we always tell ourselves. Spouses cheat on each other, people leave jobs, leave churches, move to new homes...always looking for the "next best thing." But there's no such thing as the "next best thing"...there's just the next thing.

I've been coming to this realization lately myself....although it's something I've always known...I myself have been guilty of going on a little treasure hunt this year. I left my church for the big coffee-shop-in-the-lobby, huge contemporary praise team, so many members that no one knows your name church earlier this year. At first it was GREAT. It was awesome. But over time certain things just wouldn't sit right in my soul. Certain things that were done or said that didn't jive with my doctrine. Every time I entered the church and saw my pastor's Lexus sitting there in his designated parking spot the hair on the back of my neck would stand up and I would get a knot in my stomach. I don't want to judge the man because the Lord knows that I too would love to own a Lexus! lol But... that's just not the way I was raised. Not at all. My pastor made a modest living, drove a mini van in case we needed room in a car to pick some people up for church. And he would never DREAM of taking the closest spot. As a matter of fact, he would either leave his car at home or park at the back of the lot so as to not take spots from those who might truly need them. The final straw came recently when we needed to talk to the pastor and get a little counseling. Normally it's just a given that you would be able to go and talk to your pastor when you need to. BUT NOT HERE. Not only do we not have access to our pastor...AT ALL...(we have to see an associate pastor that we don't know)...BUT we were informed that we could only see this associate pastor a max of two - three times. At that point we would be referred to a church staff member who is a licensed social worker who would charge us FIFTY DOLLARS AN HOUR to talk to us!!!! Yes. I know. Unreal. So it was after this fiasco that we've decided that we are going to find a smaller, SLIGHTLY more traditional church where they accept you, they are more worried about helping people than buying a new cappucino machine and the pastor will actually pastor his people when needed.

I was thinking about this tonight because I decided to check in on some of my favorite blogs to read...all of which were based in New York City. I always lived vicariously through these women and loved it. They all lived in different parts of the city and I loved reading about their experiences. Needless to say I was disappointed when the first one moved away a year or so ago. She moved to Austin...just because it was supposed to be a new and hip place to live. Then The Girl Who moved back to Utah recently. I couldn't believe it! That one I really was surprised by, but ok. Who am I to judge? I mean, I live in Cleveland for crying out loud! So tonight I went to check on my last link to the city. My last girl standing. I hadn't been there in a while and wondered what was going on. *cricket, cricket* SHE MOVED TO DALLAS. What the frick???

I'm so disappointed. Disappointed, but a little relieved actually. This is because I'm not alone in realizing that all that glitters isn't gold. Sometimes it's just glitter. Living in NYC sounds so glamorous...just like my fancy new church with the one million dollar youth center in the back. The grass always looks greener in someone else's yard...until you remember that they have weeds in their yards too.

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