Recently someone told me that they could tell I was never happy with Paul because I have been letting my representative blog for several years now. I thought about that for a minute and had to concede to that fact. I have absolutely been letting my representative blog for a very long time.
Who or what is my representative you ask? Well, your representative is who is front and center when you have a wall or mask up. When you first meet someone, your representative makes you look as wonderful as possible. Like you are happy-go-lucky all the time.
In my case, my representative was posting very surface, benign posts like recipes, clipart, and crafts. When I'm happy, I am creative and deep. And my writing reflects that.
When talking to my friend last night about this, she agreed. She said, "Yeah, your writing changed when you got together with him and it's never been the same since." That's sad to me, but I know it's true.
So, what do I do about it? I'm not sure. As Elizabeth Gilbert describes in Big Magic, the Muse is an actual entity that will bring you inspiration when it knows you are serious about bringing forth works. I guess I just need to fake it till I make it so that the Muse will want to come back to me. Because what we had before? It was magic and I would like to get back to that place.