7.31.2016

Seven years in the desert...


Seven is the number of perfection.

Life changes tend to happen every seven years.

Articles say every cell in human body is replaced every seven years.

I lived in the desert for seven years.

      Powerful, huh?  At least they are to me.  These statements have had me thinking ever since I moved home.  

     Gut reaction would have me saying, "Why did I go there?  What a waste of time.  All that time I could have been here at home, near my family and be more established in a home and job than I am now."  But no.  When I dive deeper, I realize that, as usual, the universe is perfect.  

     The sad truth is that if I stayed here, not much about me would have changed.  When I am in familiar surroundings, I tend to settle in.  I needed to be uprooted from the familiar and placed somewhere that I had to figure things out from scratch.  Figure out what serves me and what doesn't.  Figure out who I really am and what I really want out of life.  Figure out what is truly important to me.  I needed to wander the desert until those issues were resolved so that I could come home and live the life I was supposed to live.

     Hindsight is a wonderful thing.  Don't you wish we could have use of hindsight as foresight?  Boy would we all make some different decisions!  Now though I can see that it took a certain kind of situation to get me to the desert.  That situation was not meant to be forever, it was merely the currency that worked for me that was strong enough to convince myself that up-ending my life and moving to Phoenix was a good idea.  Once I was there,  that situation disappeared like a puff of smoke and the real teacher appeared.

     I loved being with Paul.  Well, let me correct myself...I loved having Paul's kids in my life.  If it weren't for the kids, I would have bolted in the first few weeks, probably.  But those kids had a draw for me that was pretty strong.  I've learned since then that I've lived many lives with a few of them, which explains a lot.  

     Paul, however, was one of my soulmates.  Most people have this over-romanticized notion of what a soulmate is.  Most believe that you only have one of them, and that when they come, everything is perfect and they are the one you are meant to be with forever.  People listen, this is not what a soulmate is!  A soulmate (and you can have several) is someone that is intended to come along and teach you the biggest lessons.  They often shake up your life, and they always help you to grow and learn, taking you to the next level of your progression.  SOULMATES ARE TOUGH BUSINESS.

     I am grateful for Paul, and I love him.  But boy was it tough being with him. Anyone who spent a few days near us can tell you, that he was tough to be around, and he tended to bring out the worst in me.  I know who I really am, and how I normally behave.  And I know how I tended to behave around Paul.  It's like he (without even trying) could push every button I had to get every unwanted behavior I had bubbling to the surface.  

     By the end of the relationship, I think I had grown and learned as much as I could in that situation.  By the end, I could simply live my life and let his behavior roll right off of me without reacting (most of the time).  It had worked most of the behavior out of me that would not be conducive to a healthy relationship so that I could be a better partner. I also now knew more clearly what I wanted in a partner and what I would never again settle for.

     There were other things accomplished while I was so far away from home too.  For example, I was also far enough away that I could somewhat detach from the heavy, burdensome, legalistic, religious way that I was raised.  I learned some truths and my eyes were opened to many things  I would have never considered (or been too afraid to consider) while living at home.

     To be clear, I am a Christian.  I love Jesus and he is my savior.  However, much of the rest of the way I was raised, is off-base and taken too far.  I think because of fear and a desire to do the right thing, religious Christians have created an oppressive, judgmental, way of life that can do more harm than help.  

     I had to be willing to open my mind to many things.  I had to learn and have the open heart and the honest prayers to be shown and accept the truth.  Two of my daughters are clairvoyant.  See, in my mind, I can hear the gasps of the people I was raised around saying, "Nope, that's the devil!"

     I think that's another reason I had to get out of dodge.  Because if I wasn't in a place where I could take this all in and react from what God was placing on my heart versus the fear-based input of the community back home, I may have ruined my children.  They have God-given gifts.  The Bible says to try the spirits to see what kind of fruit they bear.  It doesn't say there are no spirits that should be dealt with.  

     My daughters have the ability to hear, feel, and see.  I have the ability to feel.  I always have had the gift of feeling energy.  I can feel the energy of the people I am near (anxiety, sadness, grief, joy).  Also, since I have started meditating, my energy has raised enough that I can now feel answers.  Meaning, if I ask a yes or no question, I can feel in my body the answer to those questions.  

     I needed to find ways to help my daughters understand their gifts, refine their gifts, and to keep positive so that they are more out of reach for negative energies and only deal with positive , Godly energies.  Having those gifts as a child is a scary thing!  You see good stuff, but also some really scary stuff and my kids needed to learn what they can do to limit the exposure to the scary stuff.  

     They needed to know that there is nothing wrong with them and that they aren't evil.  They need to grow into well-adjusted adults who live productive lives full of service for others with the gifts they have been given.  I don't think this would have been possible living back home and going to the churches we attended here.

     What have we all learned from their journey?  Anyone who spend time with me knows that I can and will talk for hours about this stuff if you give me the chance, so I will keep it brief and in a nutshell.  If you want more information, just reach out to me and I will tell you more.

     First of all, we learned that Spirit Guides are real.  God gives everyone a purpose and a job both on earth and in Heaven.  Even Adam had a job!  He was a gardener.  One of the jobs that human spirits in Heaven can have is that of a spirit guide.  They are not to be worshiped as they are not God, they are only humans like you and me.  Every person on this earth is assigned at least one guide that stays with them throughout his or her lifetime.  Many other guides can come and go depending on the need.  

     For example, I learned that my main purpose in this lifetime is "love".  I am to learn about love, how to truly love, and be love.  I have a main guide that has always been with me, then I have several other guides that work with my on the subject of love (how to love, how to choose good people to love, etc).  I have a guide that helps prompt me to pray.  I also have guides for medical reasons and for creativity.  Their main goal is to put love and joy into your life (remind you just how loved you really are) and to help guide you through life in order to reach the goals that were preset for you before coming here. However, we each have free will, and so we can either work on those goals or choose not to. It's totally up to us.  But, if we set our mind or intention to something, our guides will help make it happen.

     Here is a quick snapshot of some of the first questions I asked my guide when speaking with him.  I will type the questions and put the answers in parenthesis.  

*Is Jesus real and did he die to save our sins?  Is what I have been taught and do believe about Jesus true?  (Absolutely.)

*What quick advice would you give to me and every other human that will help us?  (Pray more, meditate more, drink more water, sleep more, and be kind.)

*Is there anything that I was taught in church that is not correct?  (few things such as being critical of people who aren't living up to "Christian Standards".  But mostly that reincarnation is not real.  It IS real but was removed from the Bible by men who thought it shouldn't be there.)

*If reincarnation is real, how does that reconcile with the need for Jesus' salvation?  (The salvation is real and true, but you have more than one life to choose.  If during any of your lives you have come to a saving knowledge of Christ, then it applies to every life thereafter.  You are here life after life to reap what you have sewn and to have an opportunity to do better...not to earn your way to Heaven, but to balance out the debt to other souls that you have created.  That debt is not held over your head by God...you are forgiven all and are loved unconditionally.  But, the energy that is put into the world affects every other being in the world and the future to come.  By rectifying the negativity you have put into the world, it raises the energetic vibrations of the earth/atmosphere and will create a better world for other people).... that was hard to express in such short space.  I hope that made sense.  It is a huge topic to put "in a nutshell".

*Do we have to worry about the environment being destroyed?  (No, everything will be here exactly as long as God needs it to be here and He will provide what is needed)

*What is the most important things we need to know? (Love.  Be kind and love one another.  Find some joy!  Live with abandon, there is no reason to be so afraid.  Pray more.)

     I will copy and paste what I have typed above into a new blog post as well.  Seriously, if you have any questions (not criticisms), please feel free to reach out.

     By moving away, I was able to purify down to my most basic elements.  I learned my worth and I learned how I truly want to live and what is most important.  Now, I am home and I am much more secure in myself and what I believe.  I am calmer, I am more peaceful, and I am confident about my future.  God is good and I am so blessed.  His grace rains down over every of my life.  As a friend of mine stated recently, "If you're happy, stay that way.  If you're searching for happiness, I wish you God-speed in getting there."

xoxo v.

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