8.13.2007

With hope


My friend is hurting. She has lost someone very dear to her and now she is grieving. I can pray for her. I can encourage her. I can listen when she needs to be heard.......................... But I can't fix her. I can't take away the pain. I can't make her better.

When Maribel and I were talking recently she was telling me how she wished she could tell her friend Carla "I'll take it for you. I'll be sick for you today and your husband will stand in your shoes tomorrow. We'll all take our turns. And then I'll be sick again next week when it's my turn again. That way you never have to be sick again." She wanted so bad to comfort someone that she loved...and she was powerless...and I know exactly how she feels (at least to a point).

I pray so hard for Maribel. I feel so protective over her and have for quite a while now. When her little brother was killed a few years ago and she slipped into a deep depression is pretty much when my spiritual battle for her began. I had seen her sad and/or frustrated at times over the years, but I had never seen her so vulnerable to the darkness like she was then. I prayed for her...fervently. I phoned, I supported. I was at a loss as to what to do really...because what can you really do when someone is going through something like that? But I did what I could...most of it behind the scenes (just like I am now). I remember when I made my will a few years ago I even specifically addressed her in it. Actually it was to others in regards to her. I was stating how I know that she would have a hard time dealing with this and that others should be very aware that she was taken care of and looked after (especially during the funeral, etc.). I just wanted to see her feel better and never feel that way again.

But she does. She's hurting again. And I can't fix her. The positive side of things is that I see her very clearly doing things differently this time around so that she doesn't slip down so far. She's reaching out. She's maintaing contact. She's aware of herself and her feelings and what could happen if she lets go. For that I'm so grateful.

Maribel, I know you said today "I know it happens to everybody, but don't he know I am not that strong?"....but honey you are that strong. You really are. God loves you and he promised that he wouldn't give you more than you can handle. He's taking care of you even when you feel so alone. Sometimes we are strong when we are standing face to face with the enemy.... and sometimes we are strong when we are in a crumpled heap totally vulnerable at the Father's feet.

I know I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know....I'm just helping to to remember. You have a big support system. You are SO loved. You are admired and looked up to. You have wisdom. You give great advice. You are loving and caring. You are hillarious! And YOU ARE strong. You're going to be ok....and I'm going to walk beside you however long it takes for you to feel ok again. I love you friend. I really, really love you.

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