4.09.2014

I don't hate comments...


It's been so long since I've really written a blog that I don't even know where to begin.  How do I catch you up on everything that's been going on in my life?  There is so much.  The thing is that I really don't want to.  I don't want to invest the time.

I have such a love/hate relationship with this blog anymore.  For so many years, this was a therapeutic place...and it probably still is to a point.  The thing is, I reached a point where I was pretty weary of flaying myself open and sharing my inner most thoughts and dirty laundry...for what?  No one can even be bothered to comment...no hello's or we've missed you's.  No opinions and no congratulations.  So really, I've grown a little resentful.  But I'm trying to work that out.  I've never really written this for anyone but me anyways; a type of journal.  But, I still see all kinds of people coming to look...but anyways.

So, right now my life is a crazy dichotomy.  On one hand, I am excited because Paul & I are now engaged and we are very happy.  Things are going so well there.  On the other hand, my life has been so stressful and sad because of Maddie.  She has become so uncontrollable and mean and hateful, that in a few days she is leaving to go live with my parents on the other side of the country.  That's a huge step.  But at this moment, although it's a sad thing, I'm so looking forward to this because we need a break.  If I thought I had PTSD before, you should see me now.  This kid was not an easy raise.  This took a toll on all of us.  My only prayer is that she didn't run this thing so off-the-rails that someday we will be able to salvage at least some kind of a relationship.  We will see.

That's the gist of my life right now.  How about yours?

lurve you, xoxo v.

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