In which I admit that I had no idea what happy was a few months ago when I claimed my life was happy....
So, when I was reading and watching the things that I wrote and recorded over the summer, I saw myself thinking that I was so happy. I thought I was finally moving on and I was free, free, freeeee! Weeeee! Footloose and fancy-free. The thing is that, the older guy that I met up with? Disaster (as you know). Being alone? Nice, but not all it is cracked up to be. Got boring fast. I mean, I can be alone for a long time, but the thing is something else started to happen that I didn't expect.
I had to have a few interactions with Paul for various reasons, and as I did, things went very well. I was hesitant to interact with him at first, because I had this preconceived notion of how I believed he would probably interact with me because of our past history. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that he was nothing like that. Not at all. He was actually going out of his way to be as amazing as he could possibly be...and it was so nice. I thought it would be a much longer time than it was, but it turns out, that it only took a few short months to convince this man that he did not want to live without me. That the grass was not greener. That he was willing to change whatever needed to be changed in order to make things right. Because honestly, the major complaints that I had for the last year or so of our relationship that led to our breakup and would cause the most arguments and unhappiness? Completely an easily fix...he was just totally unwilling to do it.
Well, all I can say is that after a few conversations, it was so nice to talk to him. Some texting back and forth...and it was like second nature. I missed him. And after just seeing the fiasco that I had seen? Paul saying that he loved me and my girls and was willing to fix anything that needs fixing to stay in our lives was looking pretty good.
I know I said never, but I need to learn to not do that.
Well, it's been about seven weeks at this point, and I have to say that I have never been happier. Things have been the best that they have ever been in my life. We're taking it slow and seeing how things go. But for right now, I'm enjoying the good place where things are.
(ignore the Christmas tree that fb stuck on the side there! lol)
lurve you, xoxo v.