On letting shit slide...

I've been single now for one year and eight months.  That is both a looooooong time, and no time at all.  There are some days that I would like some companionship.  I would like someone to text at the end of the day or to hold hands with.  Yet most days, all I can think is no, thank you when it comes to dating.

I like being single too much!  I really do.  It's so peaceful.  There's no drama, there's no jealousy, no explaining why I spent too much money or why I laid on the couch for 48 hours straight binging on this show or that.  For the first time in my life, I am allowed to be exactly who I am in that moment.  I can do what I want, when I want.  I can grow and learn and change and evolve without someone getting all judgy and saying in a snide way, "You've changed."

I want someone evolved.  I want someone who has been on a path and is figuring things out.  I want someone who doesn't trigger my deeply-rooted need to rescue and fix because...wait for it...they don't need fixed.  They were either never all that broken, or they've done the work to fix themselves. 

I want someone with an open mind and an open heart.  Someone who will patiently entertain me and go on a journey with me every day.  If I wake up and decide I want to talk about aliens, they're down.  If I decide I want to be a pastry chef, they're down.  If I want to knit scarves or talk about spirit guides or research what it would be like to live in Hawaii...they're down.  Just like I would be for them.

I also want someone who knows how to treat a woman.  Someone who knows how to be chivalrous, and passionate.  Someone who can clean up nice and go to a work function, but can look sexy as hell in jeans and a flannel shirt.  And I want someone who fights good.  Not fights, but if there is a fight, knows how to respect boundaries and still be nice to each other even when you're fighting.  Know what I mean?

There is a guy on Facebook named Derrick Jaxn (at least that's how he spells it).  He has so much wisdom and I learn a lot from him.  He gives relationship advice and something he said one time has stuck with me.  He was giving advice to women on how to set boundaries with men and how men learn.  He said:

"On letting shit slide...if he tries to check your temp to see what he can get away with?  Burn him.  Check the first little sign of bullshit at the door.  Don't let them get away with the little things or they will turn into big, blatant issues of disrespect."

I want to find a man that I don't have to check like that.  Or if I do, that he responds to it and respects it.  Because seriously, I'm tired of going through men like their disposable.  Not that I do, I just mean that no man has been of the caliber that he is welcome to stay on as a permanent fixture in my life.  I'm not looking to rent any more.  I'm looking to buy.  And just like furniture and cars...they don't make them like they used to.  Men no longer treat ladies like ladies.  These days the quality of available men is really at an all-time low.

Therefore I remain single.  I know I have work to do and growing to do that I need to put my energy into.  If I were with someone I know a lot of my energy would be going to that.  That's another reason I'm not looking.  But soon I'm hoping to expand my horizons.  Stage whisper: Because my horizons haven't been expanded in quite some time, if you know what I mean. *wink*  Just sayin'.

XO, Veronica