I hear gasps in 3, 2, 1......

Am I a bad person?

Am I somehow evil?

Or heartless?

People don't believe me when I say I'm not an animal person,

but honestly...I just don't really get it.

Okay, one time my eyes started to tear up towards the end,

but it quickly went away.

I'm sure I will be shunned

and if I were onstage I'd have

tomatoes thrown at me and what-not.

But I'm putting it out there for the world to hear.

I did not cry at the end of Marley & Me.

There I said it.

Let the public scorning begin.