The golden lasso

Today was a really good day. I was in a content and happy mood. Scott & I actually spent some time together (because we were caged into a big steel box aka our van for 8 hours). Things are sweet. The problem is that "sweet" around here in my mind actually translates to *YAWWWWWN*. We got along but it's because we didn't speak. In eight hours in the car together, I can count on my fingers just how many words were spoken between us. They weren't nasty words, my husband is actually a very sweet man 99% of the time. The problem is that he's just THERE. He doesn't do anything. He doesn't speak, carry on conversation, romance me or even make lewd sexual comments to me (as men are prone to do to their women). Nothing. Just sits in silence and stares straight ahead. *sigh*.

I know this is taking it a bit out of context, but how did a "K-K-K-KATIE" girl end up married to
a "Simple" guy? (From "The Way We Were"). I know that in the movie, Hubble dumped Katie for the simple girl because K-k-k-katie was too fiery and opinionated and full of personality, whereas in my life the Katie girl actually found a simple GUY and scooped him up! He didn't present himself as the simple guy in the beginning though. Perhaps there was some liquid confidence at play there. Just a thought.

So here's the dilemma--how in the world was I foolish enough to believe that this little golden lasso around my finger would be strong enough to rope in my desires? My opinions? Better yet, how did HE think it would be strong enough? He was the one trying to rope me in and tame me--did he really think that it would work being armed with ONLY this ring? I'm sorry, but a ring doesn't a marriage make. So if I stay, I likely won't be totally unhappy--just stagnant.

In my other blog when I said my nickname for his is "lasagna", that's referring to a conversation I had with a friend about him. She said, "Take lasagna. It's delicious in the beginning and you think it's going to be soooo good. Then you stick it in the fridge and let it sit there. You don't do anything with it, you don't make new lasagna, you never finished the first piece. Before you know it, the lasagna is moldy. Then it starts to stink up the whole fridge and all the food around it. Before long it's just easier and wiser to throw it all away and start fresh...cause if you stay with that lasagna it's not gonna be good and you'll probably end up sick." So there you go, the backstory to the moldy lasagna nickname.

The other side of the dilemma is--would there really be anyone out there that I WOULD like that would actually like me back? And I don't want to hear all the patronizing stuff like, "of course there will be! you're so awesome!" The truth of it is that I'm 35 years old with two kids almost grown and two younger ones still at home. I have a few marriages under my belt. The rest of the truth is that almost all of the good ones are either gay (they love me), married (they love me too so I've found out lol) or too young and would never touch damaged goods such as myself. Is it better to stay in an ok, but BOOOOORING marriage that you never thought you'd have in the beginning that has a lot of issues because you're afraid no one that you're compatible with would ever actually want to be with you?

Whatever. More rambling. Sorry guys! Hold on with me! This weeks almost over!!! lol :) Then you can all stop ducking and taking cover! heehee Love ya to pieces! mwah! xoxo vb