The territory in between

Big can be beautiful. Small is usually beautiful too. It's the territory in between that creates confusion.

I read this today and it resonated strongly for me not just because it's true, but because it's especially true for me. Right now my life is upside down. This evening I worked in the kitchen getting everything but the absolute bare essentials packed away. The past few weeks when everything started to turn upside down is when my spirit started to panic. Not huge panic as in "I'm not sure what will happen" panic, but rather in a sense that I can't make heads or tales of anything, I don't know where this, that, the other or even I belong.
Tonight as we packed everything away except for a few cups, some microwave popcorn, etc. I started to relax and feel this huge wave of relief come over me. You see, I don't need perfect. Just about nothing in my adult life has been "normal" and I still manage to cope just fine. What I do need is to be able to label everything and tuck it away into it's place. Give me a lot--or give me just a little. Give me a neat & tidy package, or give me a mess. As long as I know what the rules are, I'm fine. It's limbo that I have trouble with. Tonight now that I know that I have no options other than a bowl, a cup, a spoon, etc...I'm ok.