This concludes Act I...

Today is a bittersweet day because my Emma...my youngest baby...turns eighteen.  Eighteen!  I have no more "kids".  Only ADULT children!

On one hand this is awesome.  I mean every parent dreams of this day over the years, don't they?  FREEDOM!  They see it off in the distance like some hazy mirage they can't quite nail down, but that promises to quench their thirst for a life of their own.

For literally my entire adult life I have been raising children!  Twenty-seven years ago when I was eighteen, I was pregnant with my first daughter.  I've never known anything else!  And now it is done. 

And let me tell you...NONE of these four kids were an easy raise! They were each different, but they were all difficult in their own ways.  When I hear someone say, "My Susie has never given me a moments stress in all her life...good grades, well-behaved, breezed through college, etc etc" I want to barf.  Honestly what I'm doing is judging them and thinking, "PUSSIES."  Seriously!  I'm thinking, "God must have known you weren't made of strong enough stuff to give you the tough ones."  That is so horrible to say out loud, I know (don't judge me), but that is truthfully what I'm thinking.  Because raising these four kids wasn't for sissies!

It wasn't easy and I didn't always make it look like it was.  Sometimes it was smooth and graceful, and most of the time it was clumsy and clunky and patchworked together on the fly.  Because as Mama June said, "These bitches don't come with a handbook." 

But even though I stumbled across the finish line with bruised and scraped knees, I FINISHED.  I did it.  They are all still alive, not on drugs, and relatively intact.  *WOMP WOMP*  Can I get an amen? lol  I have officially completed my contract.  I have fulfilled my obligations.  I didn't bail, I didn't leave, and I didn't take up day-drinking in the process.  I would say that overall, this has been a success.

But seriously, as much as it is a relief and I am excited to see what the future holds, it is sad at the same time.  I miss my babies.  I miss my little ones.  I think back fondly on memories that they will never have because they were too tiny to remember.  

They were so freaking cute!  AND FUNNY!!!  Oh man did I have some funny kids!  Especially Emma, who was also my most cuddly baby.  Darren has always been so smart and creative.  And he's lost touch with that creativity over the years.  He was also my most caring and nurturing.  He was the one right by my side helping with the babies.  Courtney was always dramatic but oh so generous.  Maddie was always so responsible and in-touch with her spiritual side.  She would set out all of her little clothes and pack her lunch every night for school the next day.  And when she was asked what she wanted to do when she grew up, she'd show you the cross around her neck and say she wanted to work for Jesus.

How blessed am I that I get to say this was/is my life?  These four little souls came in and made my life what it is.  I made them, but they made me.  I am so lucky.  And I was enchanted to meet and love every one of them.

Act I of my life has officially ended and now Act II is beginning. WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE???  I guess the answer is....

anything I want it to.

XO, Veronica