The Muse

I miss writing.  I love to write and consider myself a writer, yet never find (or make) the time to write.  One day turns into thirty which turns into a year.  I’ve had enough of this.  It’s time to make a change.

But how do I do that?  You know, make that change?  I know that the only way writers write is by actually putting an ass in the chair in front of the keyboard.  But beyond that, how do I dive back into something when I’ve gotten so out of the habit? 

The Muse has gotten the hint that I’m just not that into her, and she has moved onto more artistically greener pastures.  But, as in all great relationships, I have realized that I want her back.  I want to show her that I’ve changed and that I’m ready for a serious relationship.  Now, I just hope that she will come back and give me another chance.

I can remember, years ago, when I was heavily into blogging.  It’s like the muse had a nightly date with me.  Sometimes at work (I worked nights), or sometimes on the way home from work.  It’s like I could feel her coming and I would scramble to hold onto the words she gave me.  Seriously, sometimes it was tough!  I would look for bits and scraps that I could jot notes down on, or I would try to remember them verbatim. 

Sometimes it worked and I produced a beautiful piece of writing and sometimes, not so much.  I believe that inspiration knew that if it gave me a piece of writing, that I would fulfill the contract of bringing that writing to fruition.  I had built up good Muse credit, if you will.   Over the years though, I became lazier, more private, and more preoccupied.  I stopped honoring the contracts presented to me and now I have ruined my credit with the Muse. 

You know what is so interesting is that I have started reading “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert and she believes almost exactly as I do about the Muse and inspiration.  She believes that Inspiration is an actual entity from God (like an Angel) that has the sole charge of bringing artistic works and new ideas into the world.  Inspiration (the being) moves from person to person seeking someone that is willing to bring a given work into the world.  If they do, then great.  If they don’t, then eventually inspiration takes the given work and presents it to someone different to be birthed. 

This is why, she asserts, that there are sometimes lawsuits about “You stole my song! I recorded something similar thirty years ago but never had it finished!”  That’s because you didn’t finish it and so the idea was given to someone else.  Something similar has happened to me.  Years ago, I was working on a novel.  The idea was literally downloaded into my consciousness in one instant lump sum.  I was driving down a snowy highway when all of a sudden, I knew plot, characters, mood, etc. of this whole book.

I was kind of blown away but was so excited.  I worked hard on that book and had it at least half-way written.  However, I reneged on my contract with inspiration and put the book on the back shelf for a while.  I let life get in the way.  Now, the book is no longer mine.  One of the themes of my story was about a woman being out of her known place in time and waking up in a completely different time and how she coped with that. 

Well, those types of story lines began popping up all over the place.  My book probably would have been published and would have been successful.  I’m fairly certain of that.  But, I let it slide and now the idea is no longer mine.  First of all, it is no longer timely…the idea has been done.  Second, even when I have tried my hardest to get back into writing the book, it is gone.  Deader than a doornail.  The idea is no longer mine…the Muse took it back. 

So, what to do now?  I think I will begin by just putting my ass in the chair every day and seeing what happens.  I have found a month-long writing challenge and think I will follow those prompts and see what happens.  It feels good and feels like the right time.  Who says you can’t go home again?

xoxo v.